Taigress Mix
by Luna Goldsun
Summary: Not a dance to be performed at weddings or bar mitzvahs! Just a series of drabbles based on BuddhaBooty’s original idea. Features Tigress/Tai Lung, just because… Now with a fresh M rating for language!
1. Chapter 1

Taigress Mix

Not a dance to be performed at weddings or bar mitzvahs! Just a series of drabbles based on PointyEdgesofaSign's original idea. Features Tigress/Tai Lung, just because…

So I realized that while there were tons of eventual Tigress/Tai Lung fics out there, yet none of them have gotten to fluffy romance yet, or even to how they'd be as a couple, I decided to take a short respite from "That's Why They Call It the Present" and write this. Why? Because I'm nowhere near finishing "Present" and I can't do a shuffle based off of my OCs yet, as much as I want to. Damn. Oh well, that's coming soon!

* * *

"**Respect" by Aretha Franklin**

* * *

And there he was, looking so damn smug with that grin of his. Fine, he'd beaten her before, but that wasn't happening again. He was smirking at her again. Damn that panda for letting the snow leopard stay!

"Don't think I'm going to let you get away with anything," Tigress growled.

"Not at all, _princess_," he purred.

"Really?" She smirked back, turning her back to him and walking away, "I thought that was Vachir's nickname for you."

His jaw dropped; Oh no she didn't…!

_Oh yes I did_, she smirked to herself, an extra spring in her step.

* * *

"**Silver Bamboo" Dean Evenson/Li Xiangting**

* * *

She was beautiful. There was no way he could deny it. Sure, she was graceful, calm and peaceful on the outside, but a raging storm beneath…he could see it in her eyes, those fierce ruby eyes.

Tai Lung had never seen any woman like her; before his imprisonment, he regarded women as a waste of his time, as silly little things who cared only for makeup, clothes and…girly things like that. If he ever saw a need for one it was, well…well, he wasn't going to say it out loud. Tigress would probably kill him.

He watched her from his concealed perch in the tallest tree in the courtyard, as she performed tai chi stretches. The morning sun glinted off her umber fur, her eyes glowing in the half-light of the early morning. She was like a dancer, he thought, a dancer that could break my legs.

She almost had.

What a woman! So beautiful, yet so strong. Brave and resourceful, sharp-minded with an even sharper tongue…he knew she was off limits. That's why these thoughts were dangerous.

* * *

"**Where do Broken Hearts Go" by Whitney Houston**

* * *

She sat with her knees pulled up to her chest, tears quietly falling down her cheeks. Of all the times to have a breakdown, why did it have to happen in front of him?!

"Tigress?"

Damn. _Not now…don't answer, maybe he'll leave…_

No such luck, as Tai Lung stood over her shoulder. "Go away," she snarled.

"Relax, Princess, I just want to make sure you're not going to do anything stupid…"

"Screw off, tomcat," she sniffed, turning her face away and standing. He put his hand on her shoulder; gently, he wasn't looking for a fight. "Tigress," he said more firmly.

"I told you to leave me alone."

"Look, I'm no expert in these matters, but I know that he hurt you…"

"Oh you know, do you?!" she snapped. She gasped when his hand gently caressed her cheek. His voice sounded in her ear, his hot breath against her neck as he whispered, "You think you're the first person to have their heart broken?"

"You don't have a heart," she said bitterly, regretting how harsh it sounded.

He sighed, turning her around to look at him. "Not anymore," he confessed. "I used to, but not anymore."

So, now the playing field was leveled.

* * *

"**Tell Me Baby" by Red Hot Chili Peppers**

* * *

Tai Lung fell flat on his face on the courtyard floor. Okay, _that_ hurt…and he was beginning to regret letting Tigress use him as a punching bag to get out her frustrations. Hell certainly had no fury like…

"ARG!" he roared as she delivered a terrifyingly hard blow to his back. "I'm not as young as I used to be!"

"Then forfeit, _Grandpa_," she smirked.

Oh. Oh that little…

"I'll show you 'Grandpa'!"

He struck out and she dodged, jumping straight up into the air and striking her foot out, nailing him in the chin. Damn her and her nimbleness! But he saw something that both amazed him and made his cold stone heart melt: She was smiling.

Smiling like a kid holding a magnifying glass over an anthill, but at least she was smiling!

Wait, she was smiling at his misfortune. And they said _he_ was deranged.

But he wasn't complaining. She was smiling; kicking the crap out of him was cheering her up, and that's what mattered.

* * *

"**Rappunzel" by Megaherz**

* * *

Their first battle together, side by side. Their first battle together and he was scared stiff. She didn't look nervous at all, and he shouldn't be either. But there they were, facing off with the Dragon Warrior and the Five against the 1000 Demons of the WuShon Mountain.

He didn't care what happened to him; hell, most people would be perfectly content with him dying in battle. What bothered him was the possibility of losing the one standing beside him.

She was his equal, in more ways than one. It had taken him too long to figure that out. He'd been blinded by his arrogance, not to mention her beauty…and the multiple times he was blinded by her fist after he'd said something stupid.

And yet…no, he wasn't going into this without her knowing.

"Tigress, before we do this, there's something you need to know."

She looked up at him expectantly. She smiled, gently squeezing his hand, and he found to his shock that her hand was shaking. She was as scared as he was.

He looked back into her eyes, and he saw the answer he sought.

"I know," she said simply.

* * *

"**Excuse Me Miss" by Jay-Z**

* * *

"Where's the Dragon Warrior?" he asked, leaning precariously on the rope bridge; _you are such a fake_, his mind was screaming at him. _You can barely keep it together with this woman in front of you. Like you haven't seen a woman in…_

Twenty years?

_Oh. Right. Damn._

But his curiosity was piqued: who was this vision in front of him?

"How do you know you're not looking at her?"

Well! Beautiful _and_ feisty! Not a bad mix. _Damn you, stop staring and say something!_

He laughed, "You think I'm a fool? I know you're not the Dragon Warrior, none of you are!"

He continued on his little rant, watching her the whole time. The fire in her eyes was stoked until they were a raging inferno. Amazing, truly a vision she was…and he was in love.

But…what in the hell was her name?

"Tigress! We got this, help her!" the Monkey cried out.

So that was her name…Tigress. Perfect.

* * *

"**Girls Just Want to Have Fun" by Cyndi Lauper**

* * *

"Okay, seriously, you need to be honest!" Viper squealed.

"I'm not playing this game," Tai Lung scowled.

"You've never played Truth or Dare before, have you?"

"It doesn't matter, I'm not playing."

"Too bad. It's my turn and I pick…Tigress!"

"Crap," the striped feline cursed.

"Truth or Dare?"

Tigress rolled her eyes and chose the safest path: "Truth."

"What's the craziest, zaniest thing you've ever done?"

Tigress sent her friend a glare. Viper knew. She just wanted the other Five, Po, Master Shifu, and Tai Lung to know…

"No."

"Come _on!"_

"Just get it over with, Princess," Tai Lung grumbled.

"Alright, fine…" Tigress got up and strode right across the room to where he was sitting and leaned down, firmly pressing her lips to his.

When she pulled away, he had a dazed look on his face. She smirked at Viper. "The craziest, zaniest thing I've ever done…is that. That takes care of the 'dare' too."

Viper cursed, and would have snapped her fingers if she'd had any. "Damn."

* * *

"**Heaven Forbid" by The Fray**

* * *

This felt amazing, he decided. Odd, yes, but still amazing. Incredible, even, how much better he slept at night holding her in his arms. Tigress's body molded perfectly around his, he'd discovered on that first night how much he loved her.

He thought it was adorable she'd crawled over to him during the storm, frightened—at her age!—of the thunder and lightning, and how he'd let her curl up next to him. She shivered like a kitten for a moment, then settled down into a calm sleep a few minutes later, he gently stroking her back.

She looked so peaceful, so young in her sleep. So innocent and carefree. He knew he could watch her like this forever. As he watched her sleep, he came to a dangerous conclusion.

He loved her.

The catch was, he could never tell her any of this…ever.

* * *

"**Girl All the Bad Guys Want" by Bowling for Soup**

* * *

Tigress was initially surprised to find how much of a workout she was getting just by sparring with Tai Lung. He kept her on her toes, more so than the Seven Swinging Clubs of Instant Oblivion. She expected their movements; he was unpredictable.

And okay, there was something slightly and yet inherently sexy about that.

…Did she just think that?

She blocked a punch, dodging and back-flipping as he advanced. She swung her leg out into a kick that he caught. He yanked on her ankle, and she fell forward into his arms.

Crap, now she was trapped! Think of a way out…aha! Surprise him!

He was way ahead of her. They kissed each other before they even realized that was their individual goal.

Then they jumped away, both of them spitting, "What the hell was that?!" but at the same time bothered by how much they had enjoyed it.

* * *

"**Layla" by Eric Clapton**

* * *

Tigress tried not to look uncomfortable in the dress—it wasn't working too well. She hated dresses, had only ever owned one, and was amazed it still fit. But, she wanted to make an impression tonight.

And so there he was, sitting across from her in the dimly lit restaurant, back in a little corner where no one would even notice them. They were both quietly glad for that, especially after Tai Lung had dragged a large houseplant in front of their table to further shield them.

"You look beautiful," he said, implying it was a gross understatement.

"You look good too," she smiled genuinely. And he did. Cleaned up, in clean clothes—and wearing an actual tailored shirt—he looked very nice. Quite nice.

Either it was the low light, the wine they shared, or the music from across the room, but something about this evening told her that something was changing—had changed.

He took her hands in his, she didn't pull away.

"You're going to laugh."

"Try me."

"Would you consider…maybe?" he looked hopeful, almost like a teenage boy asking to go steady than an adult male.

She knew what he meant, and she began chuckling, saying with a wink, "What do you think I've been 'considering' this whole time?"

* * *

Okay, personally? Doesn't that last song practically _scream_ this ship? I was surprised I didn't get more Black Sabbath or Alanis Morissette in this shuffle. That's pretty much my entire library: metal and angry chicks. With a smattering of bubblegum pop from my teens. Sweet baby Jesus, I can't believe I actually listened to some of these artists…

Oh well, hopefully this was fruitful. Your thoughts? Please review! I want to know whether or not these truly suck.


	2. Respect

Okay, so guess who has major writer's block? XD it figures, doesn't it? Just as I'm getting to the good part in "Memoirs of a Master"…anyway, this is an attempt to beat the block, so please, enjoy it if you must. I know a couple people asked if I would do a continuation of these...well, here's your answer. This may be all I can afford until I get out of the rut. So, please, enjoy it.

* * *

**Taigress Mix**

**Track One: Respect

* * *

**

Tigress wanted to kill Po. Well, okay, she'd been thinking about doing terrible things to him since he arrived by first face-planting into the arena floor at forty feet in the air. Having him steal the Dragon Scroll and the title of Dragon Warrior…well, she supposed she _could_ forgive him. If she was unworthy, that was one thing.

The _real_ reason she wanted the panda dead was standing before her, smiling smugly, muscular arms crossed over his bare barrel chest.

She couldn't help it…she really couldn't. Reacting in blind rage at seeing Tai Lung emerging from the village, completely unscathed, smiling and even _laughing_ with the panda like they were old friends was just her way of dealing with stress.

It took all of the Five, Master Shifu, and Po to pull her off of him; though Shifu scolded her, Tigress was not going to feel guilty about the new scars she gave the snow leopard. Even if she did stand with her tail between her legs as her master berated her.

She was _not_ going to get mad that Tai Lung was alive and well. She was _not_ going to feel betrayed that Shifu and the panda had agreed to let him stay to have a second chance. She was _not_ going to wait until the panda was sleeping to surgically remove that paunch, and then follow the impromptu procedure by removing all bits that made Tai Lung a male. She was going to _keep it cool_…

Oh, how she hated him! The panda…okay, she could tolerate the panda. _Tolerate_. But Tai Lung had tried to kill her, and he had tried to kill her friends, her master, and everyone in this place she called home; it was the principle of the thing.

And it did _not_ help that he looked like he had dodged the headsman's block. Not even close. In fact, if he so much as looked at her funny, she would wrap her hands around that strong neck and…well, the list of things she wanted to do to his corpse were rather frightening, and probably illegal in a few provinces. But more to her consternation was _not_ in fact all the imaginings of an untimely end to the snow leopard, but _other_ things that her own body was telling her she wanted to do to him.

_No, down girl._

And there he was, looking so damn smug with that grin of his. Fine, he'd beaten her before, but that wasn't happening again. He was smirking at her again, looking pompously arrogant—that was a bit redundant, wasn't it?—knowing that he had won and was staying. And he was going to do everything in his power to rub her nose in it.

_Damn panda._

"Don't think I'm going to let you get away with anything, just because you have Shifu's permission to be here," Tigress growled, ignoring Shifu's reproving glare.

Tai Lung chuckled, shaking his head at her as if she were a simple creature not worth his notice. "Not at all, _princess_," he purred.

It came out of her mouth before she even realized she said it:

"Really? I thought that was Vachir's nickname for you." She blinked in surprise. _Did I really just…oh, oh I did…I did!_ She smirked in triumph, gave her internal editor the middle finger, and stood back to gauge his reaction.

His jaw dropped; she grinned, her smile as smug as the one that had previously graced his lips, then turned on her heel and walked away.

Tai Lung was utterly speechless, his jaw moving but voice refusing to work. The only thing he could think of in that moment was, _Oh no, she didn't…she did _not_ just go there!_

_Oh yes I did_, she smirked to herself, an extra spring in her step. _Damn_ _that felt good..._

To hell with the consequences, to hell with Shifu if he rebuked her later. She had just defeated Tai Lung at his own game...and she was going to _enjoy _it, god damn it.

_

* * *

_

Anger Management? What Anger Management? Please review! Pweeze? *puppy dog eyes*


	3. Silver Bamboo

A couple quick author's notes:  
Okay, second mix.  
Decided to change this to an M rating for language.  
And in other news, I think I'm addicted. I'm having fun with these, cut me a break.  
This chapter is rated M for language. Told from Tai Lung's POV.

Okay, I'm done.

Disclaimer: Don't own the characters, Dreamworks does.

* * *

**Taigress Mix**

**Track Two: Silver Bamboo**

* * *

Princess. _Princess?_ How dare…why that little…

No, no he was _not_ going to lose his temper. He was going to _keep it cool_. Losing his temper had gotten him into trouble more than once, it had gotten him thrown in jail, and had led to his defeat by the Big Fat Panda. It was obvious Tigress was baiting him; she despised him more than she despised the panda, which, to her credit, was pretty impressive.

It wasn't that Tai Lung was necessarily a bad guy. He only wanted the Dragon Scroll because he felt he'd earned it. He was the first and, to date, the only person to master all one thousand scrolls of kung fu (philosophy _and_ actual practice—take _that_, Oogway), and because Shifu had never let up about how proud he was of that accomplishment, Tai Lung naturally believed that the scroll was his by right. The fact he had _not_ been given the Dragon Scroll was akin—again, in _his_ mind—to working hard on a school project for _months_ and making sure you had every painstaking detail—no matter how anal-retentive—memorized and illustrated…and then having the pea-brained halfwit next to you get the first prize for a project he had sloppily put together the night before.

It was the principle of the thing.

But if there was anything he felt she could understand, it _had_ to be that. Had Shifu not adopted her like he had adopted Tai Lung? Had she not trained for years to achieve a goal so far out of her reach, and yet believing, right unto the very last heartbeat of a second, that all she had worked for, everything she had gambled, might finally pay off? Did she not feel the same disappointment, and the same _rage_ that he felt? If she had—and he would have bet money that she had—it was puzzling to him that she did not react the same way he did.

Granted, maybe he went a little overboard, and _maybe_ he didn't have to knock down that building…come to think of it, that vendor wasn't really at fault, so he could have spared his shop… _But what was it the panda said about regrets?_ Oh, right, that negative emotion—like rage, jealousy, betrayal, and even regret—would fuel the negative energies that had turned Tai Lung into such a monster.

This brought Tai Lung back from his musings and to his perch in the tallest tree in the training area, desperately trying and failing to meditate by the dawn's early light. It had been Po's idea, and Shifu had agreed that keeping Tai Lung from physical training might help in the following ways: it would keep him out of trouble, he could use meditation to control his temper and gather his thoughts, it would keep him out of trouble, he still had to recover from the wounds Tigress had given him, and it would keep him out of trouble. Did they mention it would keep him out of trouble?

He didn't understand how he couldn't meditate that morning; he'd spent nearly twenty straight years doing nothing _but_ meditation. Right now…he couldn't focus. It didn't help that he was no longer alone that early morning.

He sighed through his nose as Tigress entered the courtyard, rubbing the soreness out of her shoulders and cracking her neck. He made a face; okay, it seemed pretty bad-ass for _him_ to do it, but for a woman to crack knuckles, her neck, her back, other bones in her body…he was starting to see why that turned off a lot of people. He made a mental note to rein in that bad habit of his.

She hadn't even looked at him yet. _Must be ignoring me_, he thought. _Not sure why—if I were her, I'd still be gloating about the 'Princess' comment…_ Oh, wait, _that_ was why he was out there that early. He was still trying to lessen the sting of that verbal bitch-slap. Not that he didn't deserve it, but still…those prison jokes got really old, _really_ fast. _Besides_, he thought with an outward smirk, _Vachir may have talked tough, but _every guard_ in that prison was scared shitless of me—they wouldn't have dared._

He growled low in his throat and gave up on meditation, instead opting to watch Tigress as she began her morning routine. She started with gentle and fluid tai chi moves, as he had started his mornings before his imprisonment. He should have been jealous that she was more graceful than he had ever been, but he was too enraptured at the twist of her hand, the gentle sloping of her back and the fluid curves of her arms and legs to really feel anything besides…what the hell _was_ this feeling, anyway?

His eyes widened with that dangerous epiphany.

Was he…in love?

He bit back on a harsh laugh; love! The very idea! This wasn't love! She was beautiful; he wasn't going to deny that. She was hot…very hot…probably had her choice of men (slim pickings though they were, if the male members of the Furious Five were any indication). Sure, she was graceful, calm and peaceful on the outside, but she was a raging storm beneath…he could see it in her eyes, those fierce ruby eyes. Her temper rivaled his own, and there was something intrinsically sexy about that.

_I did _not_ just think that._

He watched her for another moment then gagged at his own thoughts. _You sick _pig_! You're pushing forty and she's, what, twenty-something? The _smallest_ age difference is 15 years! Cradle robber!_

But there was nothing wrong with a look…after all, she had a rather nice tail.

_I don't care if she's the goddess of love and beauty, SNAP OUT OF IT._

No, he didn't want to.

_You, plus Tigress…_

He liked where this equation is going.

…_Plus Tigress holding the Sword of Heroes…_

Now he was a little unsure…

…_MINUS the bits that make you a male, equals what?_

Never mind.

Now that he was off _that_ sobering thought, he realized there was more than just the age difference and Tigress' reaction to any perceived advances on his part that would make him rue the day he set eyes on her.

For one thing, Shifu would kill him.

Seriously, he would _murder_ him.

Tai Lung had never seen any woman like her; before his imprisonment, he regarded women as a waste of his time, as silly little things who cared only for makeup, clothes, getting married, flowers, and baby animals and…girly things like that. _Cute_ things, things most unmanly. If he ever saw a need for a woman it was, well, procreation. But he wasn't going to say that out loud. Tigress would probably kill him.

She almost had.

But she wasn't like the women of twenty years ago. Twenty years ago, a female kung fu master was very rare, and having one in the national spotlight was unheard of. Back then, all Tai Lung could have expected out of a female warrior was subtle grace and seductive charms…

Yes, he, Tai Lung, had expected Master Tigress to attempt at seducing him while both were dangling over the Chasm on a flimsy bridge; he'd assumed she was just kinkier than most. Once she attacked him…and attacked…and attacked…and attacked again, he realized, _Oh, wait…she's not playing hard to—oh holy hell, she's trying to kill me!_

After that, the gloves were off. At the time, he was a little too preoccupied with surviving the battle on the bridge and finally acquiring the Dragon Scroll to truly appreciate her beauty.

He caught himself sighing as the morning sun glinted off her rich terra cotta-colored fur, her eyes glowing in the half-light of the early morning. _She is like a dancer_, he thought, _a dancer that can break my legs_.

She almost had.

_Alright, enough of that. Let's go down a list of why lusting after her is a _bad_ idea. One, You're AT LEAST 15 years her senior. Two, She would castrate you. Three, Shifu would castrate you, kill you, and do horrible things to your corpse. Four, she's _technically_ your sister…_

He shuddered violently, lustful thoughts successfully defeated. _There we go, that'll do_. The implied incest (though not really, of course) was enough to turn him off at that moment.

Tigress was beginning her fighting forms, shadowboxing with invisible enemies as she ducked and weaved, letting out fearsome shouts and cries. Tai Lung once again marveled at her, at the fire in her eyes, the ferocity of her stance, the strength of her punches and kicks…a warrior so very much like himself.

What a woman! So beautiful, yet so strong. Brave and resourceful, sharp-minded with an even sharper tongue…but he knew she was off limits.

That was why these thoughts were dangerous.

Suddenly the earth shook beneath him and he fell from his perch, face-planting into the floor. Groaning in pain, he rolled over onto his side, choking and gasping for air. His amber eyes traveled up the length of a slender leg, to the svelte torso and finally up to the burning eyes of the female he had been spying on.

Judging by the look of unbridled fury in her eyes, he was screwed.

Then a slow, dangerous smile spread on her lips.

Oh, he was _very_ screwed.

"Well, good morning, Tai Lung," she said sweetly; he wasn't buying it. He stood quickly and readied himself for her attack. She just smirked, "If you're done spying on me, I could use a sparring partner."

"Sparring partner, or punching bag?" he asked.

"Are you a big fat panda with an obsession for noodles and kung fu?"

"…No…"

"Sparring Partner."

Judging by the look on her face…he probably would have much preferred being the punching bag.

"You're paying my medical bills," he deadpanned.

"No I'm not."

"You have more money than I do, you're paying."

"It's called 'insurance'."

"It's called 'raping the wallet'."

"It's called 'not my problem'."

"It's called 'I'll _make_ it your problem'."

"It's called 'Betsy'."

"What's called Betsy?"

POW!

"…Oh…"

* * *

Heehee *wicked grin* please review!


	4. Where Do Broken Hearts Go

Still working tirelessly on Chapter 17 of Memoirs of a Master, but thought I'd share this as a celebration. My computer decided to say "HAHAHA Screw You!" and cause me much troubles over the past two days. Its working fine now, and lets hope it stays that way.

In other news, the weirdest crap inspires people sometimes, doesn't it? I was watching 24 when the idea of a day/time-keeping came to mind. The rest of that is just building on the original snippet. Please review and let me know what you think.

Disclaimer: I do not own the characters.

* * *

**Taigress Mix**

**Track three: Where Do Broken Hearts Go

* * *

**

Tigress stared out straight in front of her, over the town that lay nestled in the valley far below the promontory, looking into the distance, but seeing nothing. The pale moon shone through the skeletal branches of the Sacred Peach Tree, which was appropriately dead; appropriate, because that's how her heart felt.

_Day 73 of Tai Lung cohabitation_, she calculated. The snow leopard had been there a grand total of two months, one week, six days, seven hours and forty-five minutes…and fourteen seconds. Fifteen. Sixteen. Seventeen. She shook her head and held it in her hands in despair. She expected that by now, he would have been gone, one way or another. She expected him to screw up, screw up worse than before, and then Shifu would have no choice but to get rid of him.

Instead, after two months, one week, six days, six hours and thirty minutes…and twenty-four seconds…Shifu had forgiven him.

And at two months, one week, six days, six hours, thirty minutes and twenty-_five_ seconds, her heart broke. Shattered, smashed, devastated, broken and completely and utterly _ruined_. She was smart enough to know that this wasn't the end of the world, and it hadn't completely ruined her life…but it felt like it. How could Shifu hold _him_ to a higher standard than her? If Tigress had done anything remotely like what Tai Lung had done, she would have been gone a long time ago. Imprisoned, maybe executed for those crimes.

Instead, Tai Lung was _pardoned_, and his time in Chorh-Gom treated as if it were some horrible mistake. A mistake. Had _she_ been a mistake? Now that he was back—_for good_, she added with a churning stomach amidst her tears—where did that leave her? She had given Shifu her life, dedicated every part of her body and soul to him, and this was how he repaid her undying loyalty and filial love? She loved him only as a daughter could love her father, and to see him welcoming Tai Lung felt less like a slap in the face and more like having her heart ripped out and trod upon.

She sat with her knees pulled up to her chest, tears quietly falling down her cheeks. Of all the times to have a breakdown, why did it have to be in the Sacred Hall of Heroes, in front of her friends? Of all the times to allow those walls she'd built around her heart to crumble into dust, why did it have to happen at that moment? Why did all of it have to happen in front of _him_?!

"Tigress?"

_Damn_. _Not now…don't answer, maybe he'll leave…_

No such luck, as Tai Lung climbed up the slope, spotted her, and quickly scaled the rest of the way. When he got too close for her liking, she unsheathed her claws and clumsily swiped, narrowly missing him. "Go away!" she snarled.

If he was bothered, he hid it well. The snow leopard held up his hands in a conciliatory way, trying to be the calm adult in this exchange. "Relax, Princess, I just want to make sure you're not going to do anything stupid…"

"Screw off, tomcat," she sniffed, turning her face away and standing. He gently put his hand on her shoulder. "Tigress," he said more firmly.

"I told you to leave me alone."

"Look, I know that you're upset…"

"Oh you know, do you?!" she snapped. She gasped when his hand gently caressed her cheek. His voice sounded in her ear, his hot breath against her neck as he whispered, "You think you're the first person to have their heart broken?"

"You don't have a heart," she said bitterly, regretting how harsh it sounded.

He sighed, turning her around to look at him. "Not anymore," he confessed. "I used to, but not anymore."

"How dare you," she hissed, seeing the invisible finger pointing at her master's back. "How _dare_ you blame all your problems on him!"

"What?" he asked, sincerely confused.

"Everything…Shifu gave you _everything_. You never had to ask for it, beg for it, no, he just _gave_ it to you!" she finally snapped. She had forgotten she was supposed to be hiding her tears, she had forgotten that she was _Master _Tigress, and that _Master_ Tigress didn't cry…but at that moment, she was just Tigress. To hell with dignity, she was going to tell him everything on her mind.

"You spent half of your life being the Chosen One, a life of privilege, high esteem, and everyone respected you, even when you were too young to have done anything! You had everything given to you on a golden platter—honor, virtue, and Shifu's love, all together in one convenient little package. What did I get? I don't remember my real parents, but I remember that they didn't want me so they _abandoned_ me. I was adopted by a father who doesn't give two shits about me, and most of my life I spent trying to _earn_ that love, doing _everything_ I can to get him to say 'good job, Tigress' or 'that's my girl' or…shit, at this point I'd be happy if he _spit_ on me because at least I know he's paying attention!"

She had lost all control, fat tears falling in streams down her cheeks, crying so hard her head began to hurt. Her voice broke, and she no longer trusted herself to continue.

As for Tai Lung, he had gone completely silent, and was watching her intently. She looked away, suddenly ashamed.

"Tigress," he said.

She refused to look up, more tears brimming in her eyes.

"Tigress, look at me," he said firmly.

"Piss off," she snarled.

He growled and grabbed her arms, forcing her up against the tree. She reacted by unsheathing her claws and snarling…but couldn't move. He was still stronger than she was, and this put her in a dangerous situation. Not that she cared; if he killed her, she'd get what she wanted: him getting kicked out, and also bringing a merciful end to her pain.

"Are you listening?" he demanded. She just glared at him, though her vision was blurry through the mist of her tears. He continued, "I didn't know that, Tigress. I didn't know about _any_ of that. I didn't know you were an orphan, like I was…am. I didn't know he adopted you, trained you, like he did for me…I didn't know he closed his heart after me. Remember the part where I was literally under a rock the past twenty years? Before you go ahead and blame me for everything that's fucked up in your life, I hope you remember that _I wasn't there._"

"You might not have been there, but your ghost was," she accused. "And I've been fighting that demon since I arrived here. I couldn't be as good as you, as strong as you, I couldn't be the son he craved, and do you know why?"

"Because you're a woman?" He jumped out of the way as her claws slashed at his head, nicking off the ends of a few hairs. She seethed, and for a moment he feared she was going to give in to her fabled temper…but at the last minute a sob tore through her throat and she leaned back against the tree, hugging herself. "…Because I'm a woman…" she whispered, in a tone that _hurt_ him to listen to. He had never heard any creature sound so sorry for themselves, sound so dejected, so…defeated. "He couldn't love me, not after you…you're the only person he ever loved…and before Po came along, I hoped that I would finally earn that love. You wanted the Dragon Scroll for glory…I just wanted the Dragon Scroll because I wanted my Baba to be proud of me, to _love _me…" by the last sentence, she had started crying again, hiding her face in her hand.

For a span of time, neither of them said anything, Tigress fighting to keep her crying as quiet as possible, Tai Lung unsure what to do, or even if he should say anything. A few things had finally been confirmed, Tigress was sure. He probably thought she was weak and pathetic—and he was right—and he also probably thought she was just a silly little girl with daddy issues, and not a true warrior at all. That's how she saw herself: she was just a scared little girl, still huddling in a dark corner and hissing at anyone who came near. She was still a pathetic little…

"All I ever did, I did to make him proud."

Orphan.

She sniffed, wiping away tears with the back of her hand and staring at Tai Lung. He sighed and hung his head, "All I ever did, I did to make him proud. I told him that, during our fight. I asked him how proud he was…how proud he was of the monster he created. I thought that he'd learn his lesson and tell his next students every single day that he was proud of them. I guess I was wrong."

Now she didn't know what to think. It was impossible…how could Tai Lung _not _know how Shifu felt about him? But she realized with a sudden sickening feeling what should have been obvious since the day she first heard the Tale of Tai Lung. They were very alike, the two of them, more alike than she was comfortable with. She shuddered at the thought, and stopped crying long enough for the snow leopard to interject, "I know what will make you feel better."

"Throwing you off this cliff?" she snapped.

"Not exactly…"

* * *

She stared at the Adversary, then glanced between the dummy and Tai Lung and back again. "You're kidding."

"Hit it," he told her. "See, it even looks like the panda, so it's easier."

"But I don't hate Po."

"Don't you? I could paint Shifu's face on here, if that helps…"

"Why not _your_ face?" she growled.

"Because my body has never—and _will_ never—look like this," he said, pointing at the rotund dummy with a quizzical brow. "It wouldn't be a very good likeness."

"Never, eh?"

"Should the day arrive that I look like this, do me a favor and, _please_, throw me off the cliff."

"Can I hold you to that?"

"I'm not certain I'm comfortable with that look you're giving me…"

Tigress sighed and stared at the Adversary again, then shook her head. "This is stupid."

"It's not stupid. Hit it."

"I'm not taking orders from you," she glared.

"It's not an order, more like an enthusiastic suggestion. Look," he said, leaning against one of the training hall's pillars, "You can either go back to the peach tree and spend the rest of the night crying your eyes out and feeling sorry for yourself, or you can strike this dummy until its nothing but painted burlap shreds and sand. What's it going to be?"

Tigress looked back at the dummy, recalling the bittersweet memories she had with it. _We use that for training children, and for propping the door open when it's hot_. Otherwise, it was worthless to him. Children hadn't trained at the Jade Palace since Tigress was a girl, but that changed when Po arrived. At that point, Tigress felt too drained from crying and too depressed to give it any real effort and threw a sloppy punch.

Tai Lung, naturally, couldn't keep his big mouth shut, "Oh now that was just _dreadful_…"

Tigress gritted her teeth. Everything came flooding back: being slighted by Shifu, never hearing a 'good job', nor even a 'congratulations' when she became a master. Every time he gave only a curt nod when she craved a cheer, every time she skinned a knee, broke a bone, hit her head and he held her at arm's reach when she wanted a little sympathy…that suppressed resentment let loose like a beast being freed from its cage.

"AAAAIIIIIIHHHYYAAA!!" she screamed, claws and fangs bared, eyes blazing, the tiger a flurry of orange and black as she viciously attacked the Adversary. She was blinded by her rage, striking out so many times she lost count. When she finally broke out of her rage, she was panting, sucking in air so quickly she was getting dizzy. She leaned back against the wall and slid down until she was crouching, her head in her hands.

"Tigress?" Tai Lung whispered. "…are you alright?" He sounded…worried? Did he think she was likely to kill him? No…she gasped with shock. He sounded concerned…for her.

"Tigress…"

"I'm okay," she said finally, trying to slow her frantic breathing. "I just…I just really, _really_ needed that…"

"Told you. So," he crouched in front of her, eye to eye. "Do you feel better?"

She thought about it before answering him, albeit grudgingly, "A little."

"See? I told you it would work. I used to do that every once in a while, whenever I was stressed. Come to think of it, I probably should have come _here_ instead of going to the town that day…"

"Hindsight…"

"Is a bitch, yes, I know," he said irritably. Then his expression softened, "Look, you're a good kid, Tigress; I won't pretend to understand, but I can sympathize."

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because I don't want you to make the same mistake I did."

There it was, but she wasn't sure _what_ it was. It sounded like Tai Lung was actually worried about her, and actually cared about her, but that couldn't be right. It couldn't be. He had tried to kill her, hadn't he? Yet…not since he'd come back. Her mind told her he was still dangerous, but in her heart…she knew he was dangerous, yes, but her heart told her that maybe something had changed.

Lost in her thoughts, she missed what he was saying. "What?"

"I said 'if you want, I can show you where the old training equipment is kept'…if you want to change up your routine, or something. Shifu's a packrat, or he was twenty years ago, I bet he kept some things around."

She nodded, accepting his hand to help her up. "Thanks."

"Sure. You'd better get some sleep; I'll cover for you in the morning if you want to sleep in…"

"No, that's okay. Training usually helps; keeps me focused."

"Yes, yes I know."

In the silence that followed, the two of them shared a look…then both slowly smiled at each other. Something changed that night, in that place where broken hearts go to heal. Neither of them knew it, yet, but at two months, two weeks, one hour, five minutes and forty-nine seconds, both their broken hearts had healed.

* * *

Thus proving I can write unapologetically sappy sap. Read and Review, please!


	5. Tell Me Baby

A little comedy to counteract the drama in "Memoirs", I hope you enjoy. In other news, I am totally bad. Read the chapter and you'll see why…

Disclaimer: Don't own the characters; I own the situations and the text below.

* * *

**Taigress Mix**

**Track four: Tell Me Baby

* * *

**

Tai Lung fell flat on his face on the courtyard floor. Okay, _that_ hurt…and he was beginning to regret letting Tigress use him as a punching bag to get out her frustrations. _'Let's spar,' I said. 'it'll be good for you,' I said. I'm such a damn idiot…_

"ARG!" he roared as she delivered a terrifyingly hard blow to his back. "Watch it, Princess! I'm not as young as I used to be!"

"Then forfeit, _Grandpa_," she smirked.

Oh. Oh that little…

"I'll show you 'Grandpa'!" he growled.

He struck out and she dodged, jumping straight up into the air and striking her foot out, nailing him in the chin. Damn her and her nimbleness! But he saw something that both amazed him and made his cold stone heart melt: She was smiling.

Smiling like a kid holding a magnifying glass over an anthill, but at least she was smiling!

Wait, she was smiling at his misfortune. And they said _he_ was deranged.

But he wasn't complaining. She was smiling; kicking the crap out of him was cheering her up, and that's what mattered.

The other members of the Furious Five were watching them spar, as were Po and Shifu; each and every single one of them thought he was out of his mind. They thought he was so insane, he deserved to be put in an asylum. Truth be told, he probably was; maybe twenty years in prison had finally made him crack. He couldn't deny, though, that the bond he and Tigress had shared just the night before when she nearly pulverized the Adversary had brought up certain…feelings.

He was quick to admit it was lust; how could he not lust after her though? Nice body aside, though, there was something about her…the fire in her eyes? Her eyes in general? Probably her legs…_Definitely her legs…and that area where her legs connect with her back…actually, that general area…oh hell, it's everything about her._ He was definitely lusting, hardcore.

Of course, not that he would ever admit it. It was a sure way to lead to his death, either by Tigress' hands, or Shifu's.

But as he fought her, his mind traveled back to the night before, when they had talked. He had meant everything he said to her, in earnest. He truly didn't want her to feel like she had been rejected; she was a good girl, after all, and it wouldn't do to allow her to follow down a dark path like he had. But the more he thought about it, the more something clicked…that smile she gave him meant something, and he was determined to find out what.

He blocked one more punch, finally seeing an opening he needed to take. He swung his leg out, catching her ankle; judging by the look on her face, she wasn't expecting that. But he wasn't expecting her to latch onto his wrist in an attempt to keep from falling…which resulted in pulling him down on top of her.

They landed hard on the floor, Tigress winded, Tai Lung wincing as he broke his fall with his lower arms. If his elbows didn't fracture, he would have been surprised. What he _was_ surprised at was the rather…compromising position they were now in. She could only blink back at him in surprise, still winded, lacking the words. And what _could_ they say at a moment like this?

"Awkward" was a good start. "Arousing" was another. _No, down boy, think unsexy thoughts, think unsexy thoughts…_ but he knew if he didn't move in the next five seconds, his situation would get rather…er, _uncomfortable_. He scrambled up, brushing himself off and fighting a blush; Tigress had already lost that battle, the red on her cheeks unmistakable.

"Good fight," he said quickly, trying to neutralize the situation. She nodded, "Yes, a good fight. We should, uh, do this again sometime."

"Yes, I think we should," he smiled, then bit his lip, trying to quickly think of an excuse to get the hell out of there. "Um…hungry?"

She was staring at him, the quickly snapped out of it. "What? Oh, yeah, yeah, food's good. Food's great. Yeah, okay, let's get food. My treat."

"That's…charitable of you."

"That was the bet, right?"

"Bet?" He nodded when she gave him a significant look. "Oh, right, right, the bet! Yes, loser buys lunch."

"Okay. Great. I guess…" she paused, "I guess we just clean up and head on out?"

"Sounds good. See you in fifteen?"

"Fifteen," she agreed and hurriedly left the training area.

A few yards away, Po and Shifu shared a look, "That seem odd to you?" the panda asked. Shifu sighed, knowing what the problem was. "I really don't want to think about it."

* * *

Later that night, Tai Lung was training alone, practicing his art on the Gauntlet of Wooden Warriors. _Stupid, stupid, stupid!_ he chastised himself. _ You fall on top of her, and all that training, all that self-discipline goes right out the window! You have _no _shame, don't you? Oh, and isn't it just _lovely_ that you can barely keep it together during lunch and dinner? Jade Emperor in heaven, you are _such_ a jackass! _

He swung high and kicked the head off the wooden croc he had been working on. Panting, he stood back, hands on his hips and thinking, _why am I so bent out of shape? Okay, she's hot, very hot, but can I not think about the things I want to do to her for ten seconds?_

Wait, 'the things he wanted to do to her'? _Complex! _he decried. _You have a gods-damned complex you sick freak!_ He growled and decided to take it out on the wooden warrior. He purposefully stayed away from the swinging clubs, as he liked having his head where it was, and concussions were not fun. Besides, it was Tigress' territory.

He started thinking about her again. Damn it. He sighed and heaved himself up on the walkway, dangling his feet and staring up at the stars through the skylight. Sighing again, he tried to make sense of everything that had happened. Had it been just last night that he found her sobbing under the peach tree? Had he really confessed his feelings to her about Shifu, about his apparent betrayal? Had he really revealed his insecurities, thus admitting for the first time that he felt just as pathetic as she did that he was not the Dragon Warrior?

He rested his elbow on his knee, lowering his chin to his hand as he thought some more. _Meditation would be a good idea right about now…but damn it all I can't get her out of my head! _What was wrong with him? He'd gone most of his forty years without the need for female companionship, and now suddenly that was exactly what he wanted? He tried rationalizing that all he wanted, possibly, were heirs…but he knew that was a lie. _That's not all I want._ Then what did he want?

_Her_.

He closed his eyes and groaned, running his hands down his face. If the snow leopard knew anything, he knew he needed a break. A vacation. Time spent away from her. That had to be it. He was spending too much time around her, and it was distracting. Some time alone was what he needed, a retreat. Maybe he could convince Shifu to let him go to Wudan Mountain for a week…or two…or fifty. Fifty was a good number, yeah; by then she would be completely from his mind, and he would stop feeling like a dirty old man every time he saw her.

To his consternation, she came in the training hall a minute later, obviously looking for him. _Damn it all to hell!_ He knew she wanted to talk about that morning, about that awkward exchange. Then he wondered…did she feel anything like he did? Did she feel like kissing him as much as he wanted to kiss her? Did she feel like grop—_no, stop that, stop that!_

"Tai Lung?" she asked. Crap, she was right next to him. He shook himself out of it, "Sorry, spaced out for a moment."

"It's fine. I, um, wanted to ask about this morning…"

_Here we go…_ "Ask away."

She sat next to him, obviously tense. She didn't say anything for a moment, then when she took a breath, he interjected, "I didn't mean it. It was an accident."

"Uh, yes…but didn't Master Oogway say 'there are no accidents'?" she asked with a raised eyebrow.

_Shit._ "I vaguely remember that…"

She got right to the point, "I've seen you staring, at me, when we're training…"

_Shit, shit, shit, double shit!_ "Really? It wasn't intentional, I can assure you…"

She rolled her eyes, "Please, spare me. Shifu told me you were always a terrible liar."

_Thanks, Dad_. He made a face, staring at his hands, then sighed, "And don't think I'm not beating myself up over it. I think I need a holiday, it would be best for the both of us."

"A holiday?"

"Time off, time away from the palace."

"And what would that accomplish?" she asked. He didn't know how to answer that. If he continued, he could see only two ways this could end: bad, and worse.

"Shifu believes you can redeem yourself, you know," she continued. "You just need an opportunity to prove that you're reformed. You may have been nice to me last night, but I'm still not entirely convinced." She sighed, "I'm sorry."

He sighed as well, "Don't be, I probably deserve your distrust. I mean, I did try to kill you once."

"But you didn't. The more I think about it, the more I think that has to count for something."

"It doesn't mean anything; I'm still at fault."

"But now you're man enough to admit it."

He finally looked up at her. "Man enough…are you saying I wasn't man enough before?"

"No, I'm saying you were an asshole before."

"Oh. Well, I appreciate your honesty."

"Anytime. But that still doesn't explain why you were staring…"

He blurted out, "You're sexy as hell, have an amazing body, I and bet you shag like a minx." He slapped a hand over his mouth and widened his eyes. He meant that as an internal monologue…_quick! Cover your ass, you simpleton! Cover it! _"I mean that in the nicest, most respectful way…" he squeaked—yes, squeaked—as his voice had risen a few octaves in his panic.

She was staring at him incredulously, jaw dropped, confused, appearing to let it all sink in. "…you're attracted to me?"

"I think any male who _isn't_ attracted to you lacks a pulse. I thought you were lovely the first time I saw you, but, you know I was a little preoccupied at the time…" he groaned, holding his head in his hands.

"So that's what the problem is?" she asked.

"Yes. That's why I need some time away…I mean, you're easily twenty years younger than I am…"

"Fourteen."

"Come again?"

She stared at him, "I'm fourteen years younger. I'm year of the tiger, you're year of the dragon, right?"

"Er, yes…"

"Fourteen years."

"That still doesn't mean I'm _not_ a dirty old man. I mean, by the time I mastered all the scrolls, you were still in diapers for hell's sake!"

"And that makes you a dirty old man?"

"I'm forty years old, woman, of course that makes me old!"

"Shifu's over seventy…"

"Not helping, Tigress."

She paused, then said, "I need to ask…this morning, when you fell on me, did you…feel anything?"

He lied through his teeth, "Like what?"

"Like, um…attraction?" she asked, the blush rising on her cheeks.

He stared, amazed, then asked, "Are you saying what I think you are? Not that I'm getting my hopes up, or anything," he covered.

She smiled shyly, not meeting his eyes, instead pretending to find something interesting on the floor. "I'd never accuse you of that. What I mean is…I kind of… how can I say this? Do you promise not to laugh?"

"I can't promise that."

"Close enough. I…" she muttered the rest of it, crossing her arms and avoiding eye contact. He strained his ears to hear better, but couldn't. "What? I didn't catch that."

"IsaidIwasturnedon," she said quickly, clearly embarrassed. He chuckled. She glared, "I thought you said you wouldn't…"

"I never promised it," he smiled, relieved. "What I mean to say is…erm…" he sighed, rubbing the back of his neck and bracing himself for a backlash, "Me too."

She blinked, gaping at him, then blushed furiously. "So…that, um, thing I felt…"

He groaned, "You noticed?! Mother of…I am so sorry…"

"It's okay. I mean…its natural, right?"

"Well, yes…but that's no—"

"And I was kind of encouraging it, wasn't I?"

"How the hell did you encourage it? I was the one who got aroused!"

"So did I, remember?" she challenged. They glared at each other for a long moment. They took a simultaneous deep breath, Tai Lung expecting to lose his liver—or at least one kidney—and Tigress looked thoughtful for a moment. He gazed back at her and for one long moment, neither of them moved, nor spoke, not that they needed to.

Finally Tigress growled, "Fuck it," and pounced.

Tai Lung became aware of quite a few things the moment he fell flat on his back. One, he was no longer a Kissing Virgin (virgin in general, well, he'd work on that). Two, Tigress was hot. Three, so were her lips. Four, this kiss felt _very_ good. Five, Shifu would kill him if he could currently see them, Tigress straddling the snow leopard's hips and her tongue probing his mouth and she moaning softly, and his hands traveling all over her body…and Six, she didn't mind where his hands were going. She purred when one of his hands came to rest on her hip, and he moaned against her lips, his other hand running through the fur on her head. She returned his kiss with equal passion, propped up on one elbow, her other hand running down his side.

When they finally broke the passionate kiss, they shared an ardent look with half-lidded eyes…and Tigress' eyes widened, and cheeks reddened. And Tai Lung realized why.

"Um…Sorry?" he smiled uneasily.

She crawled off of him, blushing furiously. She rubbed the back of her neck uneasily, "It…its okay, that, um, kind of happens at times like this, right?" there was a long pause. Then she said, "Did you like it?"

"I think it's obvious that I did," he said, slowly sitting up, desperately trying to find a more comfortable position.

She cracked a smile, "So, I did good?"

"Yeah, oh yeah, really good. I just, ah…"

"Need some alone time?"

"That'd be great. Thanks."

Tigress had turned away from him, still blushing furiously, hugging herself, once again feeling self-conscious. She had no right to be; _he_ was the one with the most pressing issue here. But he faced away from her, unsure if he should bother to say anything. When he did, he realized it wasn't the best thing to say,

"Shifu's going to kill me when he finds out."

He didn't get the answer he expected.

"He didn't find out about the other men I kissed, and he's not going to find out now unless I tell him."

He whirled, suddenly jealous…and also feeling a little threatened. Had those others been…_better_ than him? He felt sick at the thought. "_Other_ men? How many are we talking?"

She rolled her eyes, "Three."

"That's it?"

"That's it. If it makes you feel any better," she said, standing and sending him a shy, bashful smile. "You, um…you were better than all three…combined."

Tai Lung didn't need his ego stoked any more than was proper, but that did it for him. He smirked triumphantly, but that smirk fell quickly when Tigress leaned down and kissed him again. The smirk quickly changed to a goofy grin, and he almost missed her question.

"Same time tomorrow?"

"B'wuh?" he asked oh-so eloquently.

Tigress smirked suggestively and started walking out, "There's a place behind the bathhouse where we won't be found…not even if Shifu follows us."

Tai Lung grinned.

* * *

I'm so bad…good thing I changed the rating, right? ;) R/R plzkthnx!


	6. Rappunzel

A much-anticipated chapter, unless I'm mistaken. I know a few people were interested in me continuing this. FYI, the Title of the song is intentionally spelled that way; Megaherz is a German band, and the English translation of the lyrics...slightly disturbing, but the song sounds cool if you don't speak German XD.

Disclaimer: I don't own Kung Fu Panda or their characters; Dreamworks does. I do not own the song; Megaherz does. I do not own the shuffle idea; that was created by Mrs Mercury Metatron/PointyEdgesofaSigh/BuddhaBooty, and this is done with complete respect for her work.

Enjoy!

* * *

**Taigress Mix**

**Track five: Rappünzel

* * *

**

The stench of brimstone was the only thing that overpowered the smoke that rose from the burning field before them. The bodies of an entire regiment of Imperial soldiers lay dead before them, faces contorted into grotesque death masks of the unlucky ones to have suffered such a horrible fate. Bonfires dotted the field, and with absolute horror the seven warriors saw the dark, formless, faceless creatures skulking along the corpse-littered ground, collecting bodies. The dead, and some unfortunate souls who were still alive, were thrown into the bonfires, their bodies not treated with the respect they deserved.

It was this hellish scene that Tai Lung, the Furious Five, and the Dragon Warrior faced as they came over the ridge and stared down. They had been sent word from the Emperor, pleading for their help in defeating the demons they saw before them, and now they knew why. They were indeed hellish creatures, with formless faces, and ambiguous forms that made their species indistinguishable…and Tai Lung had never been more terrified in his life.

He glanced to his right, down the line of masters. The other six felt his presence was necessary in defeating the Thousand Demons of Wushon Mountain; who better to fight darkness than one who had once completely given into it? But he knew in his heart that the darkness he had subjected himself to was nothing compared to what he was seeing now.

The one right beside him looked back, catching his gaze, the fires reflecting off her ruby red eyes.

It was their first battle together, side by side. All that sparring, all that training together had come down to this; she was about to prove herself just as surely as he was. It was their first battle together and he was scared stiff. She didn't look nervous at all, and he shouldn't be either. But there they were, facing off with the Dragon Warrior and the Five against the Thousand Demons of the Wushon Mountain.

He didn't care what happened to him; hell, most people would be perfectly content with him dying in battle. The snow leopard knew as well as the tigress did that this was his only chance to prove he truly had changed, that he was worthy of respect and forgiveness…even if he died trying, he didn't care. What bothered him was the possibility of losing the one standing beside him.

She was his equal, in more ways than one. It had taken him too long to figure that out. He'd been blinded by his arrogance, not to mention her beauty…and the multiple times he was blinded by her fist after he'd said something stupid. Over the past few months, he had come to know her as someone more than just a challenger, an opponent he had underestimated. Through their talks, their sparring sessions, even downtimes, he had come to know her, to respect her…and to love her.

And yet…no, he wasn't going into this without her knowing.

"Tigress, before we do this, there's something you need to know."

She looked up at him expectantly. She smiled reassuringly—though her eyes finally betrayed her fear—gently squeezing his hand, and he found to his shock that her hand was shaking. She was as scared as he was.

He looked back into her eyes, and he saw the answer he sought.

"I know," she said simply.

He didn't catch it until the demon attacked, striking from out of the corner of his eye and grabbing onto its target. Tai Lung realized too late that _he_ wasn't what the demon was after.

Tigress clawed viciously at the hellspawn, the only time in her life that she felt the need to use her claws. Demons mounted the ridge, scores of them, more than the Five and Dragon Warrior could handle…but strangely, none came for him.

Then he watched in utter horror as one by one, they fell—Po first, then Crane, Monkey, Mantis, Viper…then…

_No, NO!_

He tried fighting his way through the dog pile of writhing black creatures as they pounced on her, shoving her to the ground. She struggled, roaring obscenities at them until one of them stepped on her throat to cut her off. The dark chuckles and victorious screeches were quickly followed by her screams and desperate cries for him, he watched as the demons dragged her down, ripping and clawing as her agonized screams cut through the air…

"Tigress!"

* * *

He shot up with a sharp gasp, panting and wildly looking around and seeing no one. Panicking, he called out for her, "Tigress!"

"Mm?"

He looked down, suddenly realizing that a striped arm was draped over his waist, and that arm was attached to a body…a body that lacked clothing…lying next to him under a warm blanket. Tigress slowly opened her eyes and groggily looked up at him. Suddenly she became very alert, propping herself up on one hand, holding the blanket over her chest. "What's wrong? Why are you looking at me like that?"

He looked around frantically, heart hammering in his chest. "Where are the demons? Where's the battlefield? The Five? The panda? There were demons here, I _swear_ it…"

She wrapped her arms around him, nuzzling him, "It was just a dream…it was just a nightmare," she corrected, gently rubbing his arm and smoothing the fur on the back of his head. "There are no demons. It was just a nightmare…"

"Holy hell," he swore, choking on a terrified sob as he ran his hands down his face. "I swore it was real…"

"I know, I know, its okay. _You're_ okay, _I'm_ okay, _everyone_ is okay…" she paused. "Do you want to talk about it?"

He shook his head, "I don't trust myself to keep it together…" he looked down at the blanket, gripping it in his fists, and slowly the fog lifted and sudden comprehension hit him. Blood rushed to his face, and he was grateful it was too dark for her to notice. "Did we…?"

She had to be blushing. She nodded, smiling a little, "Yes, yes we did. Totally consensual, and we both loved every minute of it."

His mind ground to a halt. Had they really…? They had.

He laughed breathlessly, completely relieved. "Oh thank the gods…ha!" he shook his head. "I must…I must be losing my mind, I mean, how or why in the hell could I be dreaming about…after we…"

Tigress just let him ramble, still hugging him reassuringly. This new behavior was abnormal…more so than usual. His eyes, which shone in the darkness, looked totally wild and hunted, and the fur on the back of his neck stood on end, his whole body electrified from the adrenaline surge. She had never seen him this spooked, this panicked, and she had never heard him say her name like that. How bad had that nightmare been? "Maybe it was something you ate?"

That was a load of bull, he thought, and there was no way he could lie about it. Sure it might've been easy to blame it on overripe bean buns, but she wouldn't buy it anymore than he did. He knew the real reason that nightmare shook him to the core…and she was sitting right next to him, both of them as bare as the day they were born, in this cave nestled behind the bathhouse and a thick forest of brambles and two-inch long thorns.

Tai Lung took deep breaths to calm himself down, comforted by Tigress' arms around his middle. He focused on what was real, on the reality of their current situation…but truthfully, even that felt like a dream.

It had taken a few months of secret liaisons in the middle of the night behind the bathhouse before they had finally worked up the nerve to do what they had done only a few hours before. At those meetings, she first greeted him with smiles, then later with hugs, and not too long ago, kisses both sweet and passionate.

Over those blissful months, it had gotten easier to hide it from the other warriors, but it had gotten harder to hide it from Shifu. He now watched his prodigal son like a hawk, and studied the couple in a way that unnerved both tiger and snow leopard alike.

Over that time, though, they had amassed a small collection of blankets and pillows in the hiding spot Tigress had told him about. Behind the bathhouse were a series of natural caves that offered a perfect retreat from the rigorous training; she had used them routinely as a girl for meditation, and to cry, though those times became steadily rarer. Tai Lung wished he had thought to look back here, behind a thicket of brambles and thorns, for such a place. That Tigress had found somewhere that Shifu _refused _to go made him respect the female all the more…but the snow leopard was still puzzled as to why Shifu never ventured back there.

How long had they been sneaking out together? Four months, five? Five and a half months, he recalled with a smile. It had been five and a half months since that first—_very_ hot—kiss in the Training Hall. At first, they had just talked, found a place they were comfortable enough to really let each other know how the other ticked. If he had respected her before, now…he flat-out loved her. And judging from the small smiles she sent him during training, she probably felt the same way.

At least he _hoped_ she did.

When he had showed up earlier that night, he had gotten a sweet surprise when she quite literally threw herself at him, slammed him up against the cave wall and gave him such a kiss to let him know that there was no going back. The memories of what followed later sent pleasurable chills through his body.

He finally laid back down, wrapping his arms around her and hugging her tightly. Tigress lay next to him, feeling his heart still hammering in his chest, and his body shaking. "Are you _sure_ you're alright?"

"Yes. Just a little shaken, but I'll get over it." He looked into her eyes and caressed her cheek. Tigress purred softly and smiled at him, but her smile fell quickly when she saw he wasn't smiling at all. _What is he thinking about? Did that nightmare really bother him that much? _He sighed heavily and took a deep breath.

He opened his mouth to say something, but stopped himself at the last minute. "What is it?" she asked.

"Nothing," he said quietly, hugging her closer and squeezing her. She could feel his muscles under his soft, thick fur…and they were trembling with fear. This had her very worried. She gave him a no-nonsense look and he sighed, "Look, I'll tell you later, alright?"

"That's fine." It really wasn't, but she let it drop anyway. If he was still too macho to talk about his feelings, that was fine by her. But as she drifted off to sleep in his arms, Tai Lung refused to let go, refused to close his eyes for fear that terrible vision would come back. He rubbed her back, making her purr in her sleep. The gentle white noise slowly coaxed him to slumber.

It seemed like he had just closed his eyes when Tigress woke him before dawn.

"Five more minutes," he groaned.

"If we don't get back to our rooms, everyone will get suspicious."

"Let them. I'm still tired."

Tigress yanked the blanket off of him and he groggily sat up, giving her a mock-glare. He hadn't slept well at all by the look of him, she thought, and if Shifu saw that…well, he'd probably think his suspicions confirmed. Neither she nor Tai Lung were ready to face an angered kung fu master…especially if that master were Shifu. She needed the snow leopard to look refreshed, or risk having their master make them wonder why there was no such thing as a Red Panda style of kung fu; the old man could do things that made Tiger and Leopard styles look like childhood roughhousing.

Then she got a wicked—and very naughty—idea.

"How about a bath before we go back? It'll make you feel better…"

Tai Lung made a face, reaching for his trousers, "No thanks."

She snuck up behind him, wrapping her arms around him and nuzzled the back of his shoulder. It wasn't until that point he realized she was still undressed.

"Tigress?"

"Then how about a bath with _me_? Will that change your mind?" she coyly asked.

His fur stood on end for an entirely different reason. Oh, yeah, right, like he was going to say _no_?

* * *

Please read and review!


	7. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

Note: This was inspired by the recent subzero temps that just assailed the Northeast USA (lows of 5 degrees and highs of 19 degrees Fahrenheit?! WTF?!). I figured that, snow leopard or not, even Tai Lung has limits. Also, I know this is out of order for the shuffle...I don't care. I wrote this one first. So there :P

Disclaimer: Don't own it, but I own the text, and my own twisted/perverted sense of humor. Also, major warning about language!

Enjoy!

* * *

**Taigress Mix**

**Track six: Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

* * *

**

It wasn't that Tai Lung was impatient; he just didn't like dealing with idiots. Okay, it was safe to assume he had a _little_ patience for "bears of very little brain" as he called them (with a pointed look at Po). And, of course, he had plenty of patience when it came to his girlfriend…_was_ she his girlfriend?

_Well, lets see, we've technically been seeing each other for the past six months, and okay, we haven't exactly gone on 'dates', unless you count the sex…_which he did, actually. He couldn't help it; it was great sex.

As to her own feelings on the matter, Tigress was mostly silent. He said 'mostly', only because she _wasn't_ silent when they shared intimate moments together. In fact, she was the _opposite_ of silent…not that he was complaining. Though he worried that her, ah, 'energetic exaltations' would cause their secret to come out, and at the most inopportune time, he thoroughly loved every minute of it; even, he admitted (though never aloud), after they were done and had cuddled up together. Especially the cuddling. Yes, Tai Lung, Master of the Thousand Scrolls, would-be Dragon Warrior, Scourge of the Valley of Peace, and Bad-ass extraordinaire…liked cuddling.

He also liked breathing; it was a hobby he found most invigorating. Which was why he remained judiciously silent and cowed under Shifu's penetrating glares. There was no way the old man could know. They had been discrete…hadn't they? Tigress hated having to lie to her master, and every day, she said, it felt like she was just giving herself more rope to hang herself with. The longer they waited to tell Shifu the truth, the more trouble they'd be in when he found out.

Across the room, Tigress caught the snow leopard's eyes and motioned with her own that today was the day. This made him break out into a cold sweat, no matter how cold he already was.

No, Shifu didn't scare him…the red panda scared _the shit_ out of him. That fight over the Dragon Scroll? Oh, sure, he could hide behind the bravado and call the master an old man, but truth be told, Shifu had raised him. Shifu had raised the snow leopard as any father would: with just enough affection, but whose name incited cold-blooded fear with the words "wait until your father gets home". THAT was the kind of father Shifu was. Tai Lung actually owed it to Shifu: he was the reason Vachir never scared him. The wrath of smaller animals scared the snow leopard more because they could be…disturbingly creative with their punishments.

It was just two weeks into the new year, and the snows had become so deep that Shifu grudgingly cancelled practice until further notice. Which meant in no uncertain terms that it was simply not worth braving waist-deep snow to go work up a sweat in the training hall, then work your way back through the cold; it was tantamount to suicide by pneumonia or hypothermia…and possibly some nasty frostbite.

This also meant that in order for the less cold-adapted masters to stave off freezing, they had all gathered in the meditation hall in front of a large fire pit in order to keep warm.

Of course, this _also_ meant that most of them were bored out of their minds, especially the snow cat. He couldn't go to the Sacred Hall of Warriors for reading material, couldn't train, and worst of all, he couldn't have alone time with his "main squeeze" (as she called him, and it thus seemed more than appropriate for him to apply it to her as well). The snow was too deep even for _his_ liking, and he _liked_ the cold. But just this morning, he decided that he had limits, and having the breath knocked out of him from the first inhalation of arctic air was _not_ his idea of fun. Winter weather in general, he could handle; winter weather from a place with temperatures that made Mongolia look like a tropical paradise, not so much. What cinched the deal, in his opinion, was finding that his whiskers had frozen into icicles; yeah, today was not a good day.

So there he was, wrapped in a blanket—_him_, shivering!—and wishing like mad that he was anywhere else but here. Like back in the cave, with Tigress, both of them finding warmth in each other… _No, stop. Don't think about that, or you're going to get into one hell of an awkward predicament._

It didn't help that they kept adding more and more wood to the fire pit without any conceivable effect. Viper and Mantis got as close to the fire as they dared, and even Shifu had to admit he wasn't as warm as he would have liked to be.

Finally, Viper decided to break the monotony. "That's it! If I have to listen to silence any more, I'm going insane!"

"Great, mind if I come with you?" Tai Lung muttered. Viper heard him, sending him an unimpressed glare…then smiled wickedly. "Oh, Tai Lung?"

"What?"

"Truth…or dare?"

He groaned, slapping a hand to his forehead. "You _cannot_ be serious…"

"I _am_ serious! Besides, what else are we going to do? We need to keep ourselves occupied or we'll all go nuts."

"She's got a point," Mantis said, shivering beneath his own blanket. "Besides, I don't think anyone minds if you make a total ass out of yourself."

"I feel so loved," the snow leopard said. He heard Tigress giggle and he cracked a small smile for her benefit. "You are all welcome to embarrass yourselves, but I'm not getting involved…"

"Bullshit," Viper snapped. "Truth or Dare."

"No," he growled, stubbornly crossing his arms and scowling. "I'm not playing this game."

"You've never played Truth or Dare before, have you?"

"It doesn't matter, I'm not playing."

"Too bad. It's my turn and I pick…Tigress!"

"Crap," the striped feline cursed.

"Truth or Dare?"

Tigress rolled her eyes but sent a furtive glance to her lover that had him worried. Did she feel Viper suspected something, and was just trying to out them? Tigress sighed and chose the safest path: "Truth."

_Safest path, my tail_, he thought.

Viper smirked, "What's the craziest, zaniest thing you've ever done?"

Tigress sent her friend a glare. Tai Lung inwardly panicked. Viper knew. She just wanted the other Five, Po, Master Shifu, and now Tai Lung to know that she knew…

"No," Tigress refused.

"Come _on!"_

Now Shifu was watching his daughter suspiciously, and making them just that more uncomfortable. Tigress glanced over at Tai Lung, and he wanted to shout 'No, no, don't you dare! He'll kill us…and me first!' Finally, he sighed and just waved it off; he'd at least _try_ to die with as much dignity as being murdered by a red panda could have. "Just get it over with, Princess," Tai Lung grumbled.

"Alright, fine…" Tigress got up and strode right across the room to where he was sitting and leaned down, firmly pressing her lips to his.

Everyone in the room gasped. Shifu was watching, wide-eyed, meeting Tai Lung's shell-shocked stare as Tigress—_oh holy hell!_—straddled the snow leopard's lap and deepened the kiss further, purring against his lips.

Oh, he was dead, he was _so_ dead…especially if he started kissing back. _Keep it together, don't let Shifu suspe—oh dear god, what is she doing with her tongue?! I didn't know she could do—oh, __damn__!_

The look on Shifu's face was distraught and unreservedly scandalized.

_Oh fuck it,_ the snow leopard decided and started kissing back. _If I'm going to die, I might as well enjoy this while I can…_

He wrapped his arms around her, pulling her closer and returning her deep kiss with one of his own, which had her purrs turning to moans against his lips.

When Tigress finally pulled away, he had a dazed look on his face, and a whimper waiting for when Shifu finally exploded. Tigress looked over and smirked at Viper. "The craziest, zaniest thing I've ever done…is that. That takes care of the 'dare' too."

Viper cursed, and would have snapped her fingers if she'd had any. "Damn."

Now here it was, the moment of truth. Both felines looked at Shifu, whose eye had begun to twitch, perfectly complimenting the distraught look on his face. Tai Lung figured he looked even more petrified.

"Tai Lung, truth or dare?" Tigress asked.

He stared at her, wondering if she were serious. She was. _Fuck_. "Erm…dare."

"I dare you to tell Shifu about us."

_FUCK._

"Tell Shifu about _what_?" the red panda growled. Tai Lung was, and not for the first time, and he doubted it would be the last, absolutely terrified. _He's going to kill me, he's going to kill me, he's going to kill me… _"We, ah…" he started, searching for the right words to break it easily to him. "Me and Tigress, er, Tigress and I, we, ah…we've…" he almost faltered under the master's glare. "We've been…seeing each other. Since _Xiaoshu_…sort of."

"Sort of?" the red panda asked with an arched brow and threatening stare.

"Well, it ah, got kind of serious in the past month…"

"How serious?"

"We love each other," Tigress finally said. "It took us five months, but we finally admitted it."

"It took you five months to come to this realization?" he grilled. "Five _months_?"

"Master, lets think about who you're talking to here," she said bluntly. Her gaze softened. "Those first two months he was here were brutal, and I hated him with every fiber of my being. But he…we started talking. Just talking. After that, well…we thought we'd give it a shot…"

"We—I didn't expect _anything_," Tai Lung interjected, fighting down the surging dread. "I thought she was kidding, that she would come to her senses and just break it off, and we'd laugh about it later. But I…" he looked up at her, and gently pulled her down to sit next to him; he wrapped a protective arm around her, feeling his fear ebbing away now that she was next to him. "I love her. Don't ask me when it happened, I have no bleeding clue. It just…happened."

Tigress smiled at him and rested her head on his shoulder, savoring the closeness and the warmth of his body. Both she and her…boyfriend—_was _he her boyfriend?—stared back at Shifu, waiting for the eruption of the red panda's temper.

But Shifu was silent, unnervingly so. His expression was unreadable, and now both felines felt terror surging through their veins. Finally, after he had shaken himself out of his shock, Shifu spoke, "I see."

_Oh hell, here we go._

"And you kept this from me, _why_?"

The snow cat answered brusquely, "Because you scare the living shit out of me."

Shifu smirked, "As it should be. Then you must know what would happen if you compromised her honor…"

_Oh shit_. He gulped, ready to lie…

"Too late," Tigress stated. Tai Lung winced and mewled in fear, then quickly tried to formulate an escape plan; he'd rather risk freezing to death than face Shifu's wrath. Shifu was too stunned to answer right away, his jaw hanging open. "Excuse me?"

Tigress blushed uneasily. "All you need to know is that we're careful, and he is very respectful—and if he weren't, he'd be in a hospital's intensive care ward by now. Also, remember, I've been taking those special herbs since I was sixteen…"

Shifu remembered. He'd been vehemently against it, until Oogway suggested it might be a good idea. Tigress' temper around the time of her monthly cycle was even worse than it was now…if that was possible; and her "womanly constrictions" would knock her out for days, keeping her curled up in agony instead of training. The herbs did have the desired effect, thankfully. Like his son, Shifu liked breathing as a hobby, a hobby that was threatened every time the tiger's "moon" was in its cycle. While the medicine opened up the possibility of something like…_this_…happening, Shifu trusted her enough not to follow through on that opening. Now that he knew about…_this_…he couldn't explain why he wasn't feeling betrayed.

"You love him?" he finally asked her.

"Yes," she answered immediately.

He fixed his icy gaze on his son, "And you love her?"

Tai Lung could only nod, fearing that if he spoke, it would only come out as a panicked, kitten-like noise.

Shifu looked at the both of them and for the moment, was completely speechless. Finally he groaned and held his head in his hands. So _that_ was where those moans were coming from during the night; he had thought that it was ghosts somewhere on the mountain. But no, it had been…oh gods, he really didn't want to think about it. He never thought he'd say it, but… "I think I need a drink."

"…Wait, I'm not going to die?" Tai Lung asked, unable to keep the terrified mew from creeping in.

"Do you know the closest location of strong alcohol?"

"Kitchen, first cupboard on the left, top shelf, behind the soy sauce."

"Then no, I think I can keep you alive for a little longer." He stood and limped out of the room; he stopped only for a moment, then turned back, "Shot glasses there too?"

Tai Lung nodded.

"Good."

Once the master was gone, the two cats finally managed to look their comrades in the eye. The other five stared, just stared, and the couple just stared back. Feeling a need to break the awkward moment, both Po and Crane cleared their throats.

"So…" Crane said.

"What's it like?"

"PO!"

"What?"

Tai Lung glared, but fought down the urge to brag his heart out. When not in present company, he'd naturally have no problem extolling his own boudoir escapades and exploits. But as it was, he had a feeling that if _he_ bragged, Tigress would get angry enough to either filet him alive, or worse: withhold sex as a punishment. With this in mind, he replied, "Frankly, panda, that's none of your damn business. I'm not the type to kiss and—"

"It's hot, _totally_ hot, especially when he nibbles around the nape of my neck..." Tigress gushed to Viper, who was squeezing as much dirt out as possible and giggling naughtily. When Tigress caught his eye, she sent him a no-nonsense look. "Oh, like you're going to complain about me bragging about you?"

Playing to his vanity, he had to concede, even if Tigress had begun whispering all the dirty details of their most recent coupling to her only female confidante. The snow leopard sighed and rolled his eyes, _Women…

* * *

_

Special note: _xiaoshu_ is a term in the Chinese lunar calendar meaning "slight heat", and when compared to western astrology, occurs when Leo is near its zenith. _Dashu_ is "great heat" which, naturally, occurs mid-August. It took me FOREVER to find that information. Finally stumbled on this site which helped tremendously:

http:// weber,ucsd,edu /~dkjordan /chin /hbcalendar-u,html

Remember to take out spaces and replace commas with periods. *basks in the awe-inspiring awesomeness of her Google-Fu*

Read and review, please!


	8. Excuse Me Miss

Been over this before: I don't own Kung Fu Panda. I'm just borrowing the characters for a little while...and being very pervy. Thank god this is rated M, or there is no way I could get away with this. Please leave a review!

* * *

**Taigress Mix**

**Track seven: Excuse Me Miss

* * *

**

"No."

"C'mon."

"_No,_ Po, I'm not telling."

"C'mon, we're just asking for tips…"

"Why the bloody hell do you need tips? You don't even have girlfriends to use those tips _on_."

"_Yet_."

Tai Lung groaned and rolled his eyes, "Look, I've already told you everything I know…"

"Bullshit," Mantis snapped. "I _refuse_ to believe all you've done is missionary. Come on, where's the good stuff?"

"Good stuff?"

"You know, the kinks: bondage, S/M, hot wax…okay, at _least_ admit you've done bondage," the insect said, after seeing Tai Lung's expression at the latter two options.

"_I'm_ not…"

Crane sputtered, choking on his tea, "You mean…_she_ is?"

"On occasion," the snow leopard said smugly, buffing his claws on his chest. "I won't deny it's rather hot to see her writhing like that…"

"We get it—but how are you able to, um, tie her up when she's so strong?" the avian blushed a little.

Tai Lung was enjoying his discomfort perhaps a little _too_ much. "I can tie some pretty impressive knots…"

"You mean tie _her_ up in knots…"

The other males stared at Monkey in shock. Instead of being disgusted, Tai Lung actually laughed, "Good one!"

"You got anything else?"

"I've already _told_ you about pleasuring a woman—or at least what Tigress likes. What else is there to know?"

"How about whatever she and Viper have been giggling about for the past two weeks? Like she hasn't told Viper all the gory details…"

"We're _not_ gory—we might have kinks, but not _those_ kinds…"

"A-_HA_! I knew it! Pay up," the bird heckled Mantis, who sighed and reached for five gold coins. The bird looked up at Tai Lung and shrugged, "Nothing against you—we've got a betting pool going."

"For?"

"Just what _exactly_ you're doing to her…"

"How do you know it's _me_ doing it to h—damn it!" he stopped himself and outwardly winced, having fallen right into the avian's trap. When he looked up, Crane was smirking in triumph…and accepting five more coins from the grumbling insect, panda, and simian apiece.

"You know what I just realized? You're all sick," the snow cat growled.

"How are we sick?"

"She's your friend, isn't she? Why would you want to know the sordid details of her sex life?"

"Well…" Po blushed, rubbing his neck uneasily. "Knowing a little bit more about different, um, _positions_ would be nice…"

"We saw that copy of the Kama Sutra," Mantis challenged. "And some of them looked right up your alley; lets face it, you're both pretty flexible."

"That's our business and none of yours," the snow leopard said, remarkably with a faint tint on his cheeks, "_Screw_ you all."

"We'd like to—screw and _get_ screwed, that is…"

"Don't make me bring up the mating practices of your own species, Master Mantis," the feline growled.

"What I'm most curious about," Crane asked. "Have you always been attracted to her?"

Tai Lung fell silent, then picked up his bowl and chopsticks to begin shoveling rice and diced-cut vegetables into his mouth. The other males shared a look, then a smirk.

"Back at the bridge, huh?" Monkey asked smugly.

"I reiterate: _screw_ you all…"

"Look, it's not really giving anything, uh, _personal_ away, right?" Po asked.

"I would _think_ that it's still something personal…"

"Again, like Tigress isn't telling everything to Viper?"

Tai Lung sighed, "Fine…if it shuts you up…"

* * *

"Where's the Dragon Warrior?" he asked, leaning precariously on the rope bridge; _you are such a fake_, his mind was screaming at him. _You can barely keep it together with this woman in front of you. Like you haven't seen a woman in…_

Twenty years?

_Oh. Right. Damn._

But his curiosity was piqued: true, he had not seen a woman for twenty years—or anything remotely attractive for that span—but in his experience, women kung fu artists were vastly different than their male counterparts. For one thing, women weren't as strong as men, but usually the women—especially the pretty ones—could use their, erm, assets to their advantage. Why _this_ female had such a powerful kick to rival his own, and why she attacked him was surprising.

Two decades ago, female kung fu artists—while rare—typically fought with subtlety and grace, and their greatest weapon was seduction. So, he was naturally very surprised to find that, one, this female greeted him by _kicking him in the face, _two,she seemed to be the leader of this quintet that had enough nerve to face him in battle, three, she wasn't afraid of heights—for how else could she jump right out onto that span without fear—and four, fucking hell, she was gorgeous.

Who was this vision in front of him?

"How do you know you are not looking at her?" she challenged, adjusting her footing.

Well! Beautiful _and_ feisty! Not a bad mix. _Damn you, stop staring and say something!_

He laughed, "You think I'm a fool? I know you're not the Dragon Warrior, _none_ of you!"

He continued on his little rant, watching her the whole time. "I heard how he fell out of the sky on a ball of fire, that he is a warrior, unlike any other…" The fire in her eyes was stoked until they were a raging inferno. Amazing, truly a vision she was…and he was in love.

"Po?" the lice-ridden primate asked.

"So that is his name…Po," Tai Lung savored it. "Finally! A worthy opponent! Our battle will be legendary!"

No sooner had he finished, she attacked…and attacked, and attacked, clearly pissed that he didn't see _her_ as a worthy opponent. By the looks of things, she was going to hand him a pair of chopsticks at the end of this, so he could eat his words. Okay, _interesting_…so when was she going to put on the—Holy hell! Did she just try to throw him off the bridge?!

_Kinky…but skilled_. She fought as well as any man—then he got kicked in the jaw—_hard_. It took a moment for him to realize as he launched himself up in the air to fall back down with his signature drop kick that this female was _not_ trying to seduce him.

She was trying to kill him.

And would most likely succeed if he didn't fight back.

So he did.

He felt a little guilty when she fell, but her bird friend saved her, so it wasn't so bad…besides, the snow leopard was a little preoccupied with her friends, who, he admitted grudgingly, were indeed Shifu's students…they were trained well enough.

But…what in the hell was her name?

"Tigress, they need back-up!" the mantis cried out.

So that was her name…Tigress. Perfect.

The rest of that battle was a bit of a blur, but he definitely remembered being wrapped up in that thick rope and receiving a powerful punch that sent him swinging back to the other side of the span. Hitting that solid rock was…rather uncomfortable, but it helped dislodge the tight bindings. He may have been down, but was not out; come hell or high water, he was going to get to the other side, and get that scroll!

…and possibly the girl, too, if he could swing it.

So when he landed on the opposite side of the bridge, behind the Furious Five, he had to allow himself some self-satisfaction. Truthfully, the look on Tigress' face was enough to make him gloat, "Shifu taught you well…"

Now, to show her just what she was missing out on. He hit the monkey with his nerve attack, and saw, to his consternation, that she was not impressed…she looked nervous. Oh, now, _really_, he wasn't going to kill her! He wasn't going to kill any of them…at least not at that moment.

The snake, bird, and bug were the next to fall, and when they did, Tigress finally attacked him again. If he didn't hit her with the nerve attack when he did, he probably would not have made it to the Valley of Peace in one piece. He was a little regretful to see the shocked look on her face as she doubled over and fell unconscious, but he felt he'd gone easy on her at least.

Now, for one last sorry bastard…

He stepped over to Crane and lifted the nerve attack only briefly, wrapping his hand around his slim neck. "Now you listen here—I could very well kill you all, but that would defeat my purpose. Fly back there and tell Shifu that I'm coming…and I'll be there sooner than he thinks. I'll give you an hour's head start."

* * *

"Yeah, we remember that part," Crane said stiffly.

"I _said_ I was sorry."

"We only forgave you when you admitted you were a prick," Monkey said, arms crossed.

"Do all of you have to rub that in? Yes, I admitted I was an arrogant ass…"

"'_Was'_?"

"Shut up."

Po tried to mediate, "C'mon, guys, we've been over this. Besides, if he's dating Tigress, we have to assume he won't do anything like that again, right?"

The other males nodded solemnly. The something came to the snow leopard… "Wait, what do you mean by that?"

"By what?"

"That if I'm dating Tigress you assume I'm not going to 'do anything'."

"Well, yeah, because she obviously wears the pants—"

"WHAT?" he roared.

"Face it," Crane said. "Tigress wears the pants in your relationship."

"The hell she does!"

Monkey arched an eyebrow, "Seriously, its okay; a lot of relationships nowadays are like that. There's nothing wrong admitting it…"

"I will admit _nothing_! She does _not_ wear the pants in our relationship and that's—"

"I don't wear the pants, huh?"

Tai Lung froze; he was caught, and in _big_ trouble. He looked over his shoulder and spied his girlfriend and Viper, the latter of the two unsuccessfully hiding a smirk…and a blush. Oh jeez, what had Tigress told her now? Whatever it was, the serpent couldn't look him in the eye. _Damn it, woman_.

Now, however, he needed to save both his masculinity…and his ass. "I mean that…that is…"

"Oh no, I see how it is," she said icily. "You're trying to protect your _precious _masculinity at the behest of the others who probably want to know _all_ the dirty details."

"Tigress, kitten, now is _not_ the best time to be having this discussion…"

"What did you tell them?"

"Nothing! They don't know a damn thing!"

It was what she said next that astounded him: "Why not?"

He blinked, then his ear twitched. "Beg pardon?"

"Of all people, I expected _you_ to brag the most about your, eheh, _horizontal_ skills…" she winked. He blushed, but smirked anyway.

"So…you're giving him your permission to tell us…about _everything_?" Mantis asked.

"You _want_ me to tell them everything?!" the snow leopard gaped.

"She's told _me_ everything, so it sounds like she is," Viper bit her lip to not say anything further incriminating. But she looked up at Tai Lung anyway, and asked, "So, um, Number 17, huh?"

Blood rushed to his face faster than ever before, and even he noticed a rosy tint on his girlfriend's cheeks, though she smiled proudly.

"Wait, what the hell is Number 17?" Crane asked.

Tai Lung looked pleadingly at his girlfriend, who, after a moment of visible thought, gave him a slow, sly smile, and decided to save him the embarrassment…at least temporarily. "I'll let Viper tell you. In the meantime, gentlemen," she clapped her hand on her boyfriend's shoulder, "I need this man to rip my clothes off sometime within the next five minutes."

She had barely finished when Tai Lung slung her over his shoulder and started marching double-time back to his room. The door slammed behind them, and no one saw them for quite a few hours...  


* * *

Many hours later, Tai Lung walked—or, rather, limped—into the kitchen and began grabbing random foods. Some nuts for protein and energy—because they would need it—and he was also searching for something Tigress had told him to locate. While he was initially unsure how pomegranates would factor into the plans they had for that evening, he wasn't going to question it if it lead to more mind-blowing sex. He was just grateful she was that creative.

When he exited the pantry he was faced with the other four males. Po, Crane, Monkey and Mantis were all giving him an expectant look, arms, wings and pincers crossed.

"So…what did she _do _to you that had you screaming like that?"

The snow leopard blushed again—a habit he was starting to despise—sighed, and put the pomegranates into a bowl with the other snacks. "Alright, fine. See, she does this one thing with her tongue…"

* * *

Heheheh… By the way, "Number 17" is a nod to the musical "Chicago". In the song "The Cellblock Tango", Velma Kelly is very descriptive about what "Number 17" is. No, I'm not saying. Figure it out for yourselves. :) And Tigress' parting shot is a nod to the short-lived Joss Whedon show "Firefly". Firefly fans know which episode/scene I'm referencing. ^_^


	9. Heaven Forbid

So, guess who has "Memoirs" writer's block again?

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the text. The characters belong to Dreamworks, the song to The Fray.

Note: the Double-Seven festival is a festival usually celebrated around August or September, and is sometimes called the Chinese Valentine's Day. It was traditionally the festival where unmarried people would hope to find their future spouses. The Tale of the Cowherd and Weaver Maiden is the same tale that inspired the festival, and refers to the two stars Altair and Vega in the night sky, which are "separated" by the Milky Way, except once a year when it is said both stars can be seen on the same side of the Milky Way. A little belated Valentine's Day fic…oh well, better late than never.

* * *

**Taigress Mix**

**Track eight: Heaven Forbid

* * *

**

Tai Lung's ear ticked once when he heard the first calls of songbirds in early morning. Fighting back on a grumble, he opened his heavy-lidded eyes and gazed about the darkened room. He smiled fondly at the surroundings, as well as the woman sleeping in his arms.

The red lantern hanging over their heads was a souvenir from New Year, and that wall scroll a gift for Tigress after the Dragon Boat festival. On the other side of the room was a bookcase overloaded with scrolls and books of myriad subjects. He hadn't expected "The Tale of the Cowherd and Weaver Maiden" to be such a popular gift for her, but she'd loved it just the same; she said it reminded her of their relationship (though Tai Lung was of course _not_ fond of being the cowherd in that tale). Still, she did remind him of the heavenly maiden in the tale of the Double-Seven festival.

It _was_ a nice story, if slightly tragic. The Double Seven festival, celebrated on the seventh day of the seventh month, a traditional time when unmarried men and women started looking for future spouses. The story goes that a heavenly maiden, the Weaver Girl, who wove the rich clothing for the gods, was fond of coming to earth with her sisters to bathe. A cowherd found her bathing one day and stole her clothes (something Tai Lung admitted that he wasn't above doing, depending on the girl). The maiden had no choice but to marry the cowherd to preserve her honor, but luckily, theirs was a happy marriage, resulting in many children. But the gods missed their weaver, and they stole her away from her husband and children and imprisoned her in heaven, drawing the Milky Way across the sky to separate the lovers. The maiden was inconsolable, but the Emperor of Heaven took pity on her, so on the seventh day of the seventh month, every year, he would form a bridge over the Milky Way, so that the Cowherd and his Weaver Girl could be reunited every year for that single night.

Eerie how that story applied to his own life, the snow leopard thought as he lay awake that early morning. At times, especially around Shifu, and some of the villagers, it felt like they were trying to keep Tigress away from him just as the gods tried to separate the Cowherd and the Weaver Girl.

Today, as a matter of fact, was the start of the Double Seven Festival, and it had taken all year to steal up his nerve to actually go. The villagers were still not too fond of him, despite him proving he had turned over a new leaf. It had taken many battles with the Furious Five and Dragon Warrior against many foes before the villagers actually started to trust him. But self-assured as he was, the glares still got to him. Only lately, as he had been spending more time in the town, the vast majority had warmed up to him, most even asking after his girlfriend…

Tigress.

He smiled. How could he have waited so long to tell her? Waiting just as long to tell Shifu was just as foolish. After about four shots, though, the red panda was oddly cool about it. Even suggesting, "Sure, share a room. What do I care? You're both adults…" Tai Lung wagered that was the alcohol talking; the master's hangover the next day confirmed it. But by then it was too late to take it back.

So here they were, snow leopard and tiger together, sharing a room, sharing a bed, sharing space…and oddly, as much as he expected it to be difficult living in such close quarters with such a temperamental woman, he was amazed how quickly they fell into a routine. Tigress was just as surprised they hadn't had a fight since they moved in together. She guessed that their daily training helped, and it probably did. Now that he was exercising regularly, Tai Lung noticed his aggression had been nearly decimated, though the sarcasm lingered.

Tigress didn't care, she liked his sarcasm; it made her laugh.

What he liked just as much, if not more, was what they were doing right now. He wrapped his arm around her torso, pulling her closer while at the same time draping the sheet further across their bodies. Tigress' head rested on his outstretched arm and she smiled in her sleep, feeding off his warmth as she slumbered in the early morning.

This felt amazing, he decided. Odd, yes, but still amazing. Incredible, even, how much better he slept at night holding her in his arms. Tigress's body molded perfectly around his, he'd discovered on that first night how much he loved her.

He thought it was adorable the first time she'd crawled over to his room all those months ago during a storm, frightened—at her age!—of the thunder and lightning, and how he'd let her curl up next to him. She shivered like a kitten for a moment, then settled down into a calm sleep a few minutes later, he gently stroking her back.

She looked so peaceful, so young in her sleep. So innocent and carefree. He knew he could watch her like this forever. As he watched her sleep, he came to a dangerous conclusion.

He loved her. He loved her enough to die for her. He loved her enough to sell his soul to save her life. He loved her enough to travel the world, fighting monsters and entire armies, if only to keep her safe. He loved her more than life itself.

The catch was, he could never tell her any of this…ever. It wasn't that he needed to hold himself back for fear of retribution. No, it was the _extent _of his love that terrified him. That first nightmare he'd ever had about losing her…it wasn't the last. The only thing that helped him beat those nightmares away was sleeping next to her, holding her in his arms to remind him that she wasn't going anywhere. He knew deep in his heart there was no way he could live the rest of his life like this…this needed to end.

He had stalled long enough. It needed to end, and it needed to end today.

"Tigress?" he whispered. "Wake up, kitten, its morning."

She stirred slightly, shaking her head like a still-tired child on a school day, groaning softly, "_Nooo_…S'too early…"

"The gong's going to ring in a half hour. Don't you think we should get up? Festival's today, so no training…"

"Fifteen more minutes," she groaned, hugging his draped arm closer to her chest.

"You don't normally want to sleep in…"

"I _wouldn't_ be if _someone_ didn't keep me up until two in the morning…" she grumbled.

Tai Lung allowed himself a satisfied smirk as he teased, "You enjoyed it, admit it."

He saw her smile, "I love whatever you do to me…what I don't love are the early mornings."

He nuzzled the back of her neck. "Perhaps someday, you'll take me up on that offer for a retreat, just the two of us…"

"Something tells me we wouldn't be training."

"Well, maybe not the kind of training Shifu has in mind."

She giggled softly. Tigress yawned and turned over to face him, wrapping her arm around his waist. "Mm…I dun wanna get up."

"Neither do I," he admitted. Getting up would mean having to go through with it…

"I'm comfy and warm and happy right here," she whispered.

"Me too," he smiled, running his fingers through her fur. Pleasurable shivers ran through her body as she pressed herself against him, kissing the base of his neck. Tigress smiled when he sucked in a breath. "Something wrong?" she asked seductively.

"We—oh gods—we don't…" he gasped as her hands moved over his body. "We don't have enough time to…"

"Are you turning down sex?" she arched an eyebrow. "Are you feeling well?"

"Fine," he lied. "I'm feeling fine." _Just nervous, wondering how you're going to take this, hoping you don't kill me, or worse, cry_.

"Tai Lung?" she asked, sensing his unease. "What's wrong?"

He sighed; whether he liked it or not, the time had come. "Tigress…I can't keep doing this."

"Doing what?" she asked, sitting up, now wide awake. "Can't keep doing what?"

It tore at him to hear the concern, and now the panic, in her voice. "Tigress…listen, you know I love you…"

"Oh no…"

She knew what was coming.

"It's not you, it's me…"

"Tai Lung…"

"Let me finish," he sat up, his hand reaching under his pillow. "What we have right now…it's just not good enough for me."

He could see her heart breaking. "Not…not good…?" she tried desperately to grasp at this. "But…I love you. I thought you loved me." _Oh gods, she's going to cry…_

"I do love you," he sighed, taking her hand in his. She looked numbed, cold, devastated. "Tigress, I _do_ love you, and that's why I need to do this…for the good of us both. What we have right now, we both know it can't last, not with the way things are…"

"But we were happy," she started shaking her head, tears brimming in her eyes. "I thought we were both happy…"

"But I'm _not_ happy. And this is the only way that both of us can be happy," he sighed, placing a small circular object in her hand. "Marry Me."

* * *

Shifu was shocked out of his bed by the cracking of wood, the crumbling wall of one of the Five's rooms, and the loud roar of a very pissed-off sleep-deprived tiger screaming, "YOU SON OF A BITCH!"

Luckily for the old master, his bed wasn't too far off the floor. The red panda fought to free himself of the sheets that had entangled him, but by the time he reached the door, he was smiling.

Just outside his door, he heard Tai Lung gasping for air—Tigress probably had him by the throat—the snow leopard asking, "So…is that a yes?"

Shifu pressed an ear to the door and listened closely. He could hear nothing but Tigress' labored breathing and his own rapidly beating heart. Finally, after a long, uncomfortable silence, he heard a sniffle and her tearful response:

"Yes."

Shifu pumped his fist in the air and grinned. _Yes!_

"Really?" Tai Lung asked through the door. "You're not going to kill me?"

Tigress laughed, "I _should_, for the way you proposed, you sonofabitch dumb bastard!"

Shifu chuckled and took that opportunity to open the door and look out into the hallway at the two felines. Tai Lung had managed to free himself from his now fiancée's grip and was sliding a jade engagement ring onto her finger. Tigress was completely at a loss for words, and actually looked ready to cry. The snow leopard kissed her forehead and pulled her into his arms, rocking her gently.

A door cracked open next to them: "Did you ask her?" Mantis hissed.

Viper's door cracked open too: "Did he ask you? Are you…?"

Tigress turned to her friend's door…and nodded, "Yes, he did, and yes, we are."

Shifu jumped in alarm as the hallway erupted into raucous celebration, as doors flew open to admit the kung fu masters into the merriment. Monkey slapped Tai Lung on the back, "Good one!"

"Tigress, ohmygosh!" Viper squealed, "You're getting _married_!"

"Way to go, big guy," Po said, playfully punching the snow leopard's arm.

"Yeah, we thought you'd chicken out," Mantis said, jumping onto the cat's shoulder.

Tai Lung rubbed the back of his neck, "I almost did…"

"Wait," Crane said, arching a brow. "You—the guy who broke out of Chorh-Gom without breaking a sweat, who fought the five of us on the Thread of Hope and nearly died—_you_ were afraid to ask Tigress to marry you?!"

"Yep."

Shifu chuckled and finally emerged from his room. "It takes a very secure man to admit that." He stopped just short of the snow leopard, father and son staring at each other for a long, quiet moment, causing the celebration in the hall to subside to hear what the old master had to say.

Shifu took a deep breath, "Well, here you are. I don't think I need to tell you..."

"You don't. I'll take good care of her," he assured.

"Good. Because if you didn't, I would have no choice but to Wuxi you straight to the _special_ Hell."

Tai Lung gulped, and the master continued, "I don't care about specifics, Tai Lung," Shifu looked over at Tigress. "I just want to be assured that my little girl is taken care of."

Tigress smiled and slipped an arm around her fiancé's waist; the snow leopard smiled, "You have my word."

The red panda beamed and nodded, "Good. In that case," he said, turning to walk out the door, "Given that today is a festival day, and we have something quite profound to celebrate, I'm canceling training for the next three days. Now if you'll excuse me, I must go down to the village to arrange auspicious dates with a diviner. Oh, and Tigress?"

"Yes, Master?"

"Did you punch him, or kick him?"

"Punch," she said, confused.

Shifu smirked at Tai Lung, "You owe me fifty _yuan_."

* * *

I just realized how strangely appropriate the song title is to this piece…Review please! :D


	10. Girl All the Bad Guys Want

Not too happy with this one, but I suppose its something, isn't it? After all, Tigress is not exactly a "rocker with a nose ring"; still, pretty bad-ass.

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

* * *

**Taigress Mix**

**Track nine: ****Girl All the Bad Guys Want

* * *

**

"Alright, so what have we got?"

"What do you mean?"

"Shifu roused us from a _very_ hot morning romp for a _very_ important reason, otherwise, there is no way in hell I'd let him get away with this."

"I didn't think you were enjoying it that much…"

"Just because I was silent on the outside didn't mean I wasn't screaming on the inside."

"Tigress, you _are_ my pervy little minx," Tai Lung said with a smirk, pinching her tail and grinning when she gasped. She slapped his hand away, "Stop it! We need to be serious; who knows what's threatening the valley?"

"Whatever or whoever it is, they're going to have their hands full. Who's stupid enough to fight us?"

"You never know." She stopped just short of the doors to the training facility. She trained her ears and heard a commotion through the doors. "Get ready," she whispered to him. He immediately dropped into a battle stance, ready to kick in the doors. On the count of three, both felines burst through the door…

"Nice of you to join us," Shifu smirked.

Tigress and Tai Lung gaped, their faces paling as overwhelming dread set in. They had been set up; they were ambushed!

…by the beginner's kung fu class.

"Shit," Tigress quietly cursed.

"Oh, I hate him," Tai Lung muttered, his eye twitching. "Tigress? Promise me to be _extra_ loud tonight, just to keep him up…"

She smacked his shoulder to get him to shut up. "Not in front of the kids!"

"They don't know what I'm talking about!"

A bunny boy gently tugged on Tai Lung's pant leg, "Um, Mister Tai Lung, sir…are you gonna teach us kung fu today?" This, of course, let loose a torrent of questions from the bunnies and piglets and goslings.

"Master Po said you knew lotsa cool stuff!"

"Yeah, and that Master Tigress can punch through walls, too! Can you teach me to do that?"

"I wanna learn how to do the Wuxi finger hold—"

Tai Lung cut off the last one, "No, kid, no, trust me, you don't…" the snow leopard glared at the red panda, who was standing on the steps with his hands clasped behind his back, and thoroughly enjoying his discomfort. "If this is karmic retribution…"

"You may call it that, if you wish," Shifu started. "More accurately, this is to prove that you've mastered restraint. If you can be gentle with these, uh…delightful children, then I think you may very well have won over not just the Jade Palace, but the entire valley as well."

"Brilliant, how long did it take you to write that little speech?"

Tigress jabbed him in the ribs, "He's giving you a chance, _honey_."

"Listen, _kitten_," he started saying with a forced smile and even tone as he rubbed the sore spot in his side, "All I'm saying is that this is a _bad_ idea…"

She squeezed his hand, bringing him down a few pegs so that the ruckus of the twenty children practicing kung fu dimmed, and it was just the two of them. "Tai Lung," she said firmly. "We agreed when we got married that we would weather any storm…"

He nodded and sighed in resignation, knowing he wasn't going to win this argument, "Tigress, I remember our vows—we took them only a month ago."

"Well," she bit her lip. "It may be a little soon, but what if, you know, what if we wanted kids someday?"

Both Tai Lung and Shifu managed to choke on air—quite an impressive feat for the both of them. "K-kids?"

"Yes," she said cheerily. "This would be great practice, wouldn't it?"

Suddenly Shifu looked like he was regretting this deceit. He and the snow leopard shared a look, Shifu's saying "if you bail now, I won't hold it against you", and Tai Lung's saying "if I do, I'll be in for it later".

And he would. So, resigned to his fate of having to babysit Po's class while the Panda and the rest of the Furious Five were on campaign, the newly-wedded couple walked to the front of the class and tried to gather the hyper children in a circle.

"Okay, children…" Tigress tried. "Children," a little more firmly.

"Little tails on the floor, one, two, three, NOW!" Tai Lung snapped like a drill sergeant. Tigress blinked when the children were all suddenly sitting in a semicircle around them. Tai Lung blinked in surprise, "I didn't think that would work…nice."

Tigress rolled her eyes; she knew who would be the disciplinarian. "Okay, kids, as you know, I'm Master Tigress, and this is Master Tai Lung, and we're standing in for Master Po today…"

"What're you gonna tea—" an overly excitable bunny interjected.

"Hand!" Tai Lung barked, silencing the poor bunny. The snow leopard sighed; _deep breaths, remember, patience… _"…You raise your hand when you have a question. Let Master Tigress finish her statement; she may just answer you." The kids all stared at him. "Did the panda not teach basic discipline?" More blank stares. "Oh for the love of…"

"What were you working on before Master Po left?" Tigress interjected quickly.

A little girl piglet raised her hand. Tai Lung nodded at her. "Um," she said, "We were learning about Master Wei Shan…"

"Wei Shan?" the snow leopard balked. "How old are you?"

"Uh, nine…"

"You're nine years old and he has you learning Wei Shan? Is he out of his…" he shook his head, "Fine, let's forget Wei Shan for today. Anyone here know who Zhan Shi is?" Blank stares. "…Anyone at all…"

A goose finally raised his wing.

"You, with the spot on his beak."

"Master Zhan Shi was a fifth dynasty warrior who was, um…very small, and he uh, perfected a style that can help small people take down bigger people."

Tai Lung was impressed. There were very few villagers who knew about that. This kid—geeky though he looked—knew his stuff. "…Very good. Yes, Zhan Shi was a rabbit, actually, known for his special technique…yes?" he asked the same gosling.

"The Lucky Rabbit's Foot Technique, sir," he answered bashfully.

Tai Lung blinked in surprise again, then beckoned the gosling forward, "Alright, front and center, I'm going to have you perform that move on me."

Tigress balked, "Um, honey? I don't think that's a good…"

"He's fine," he assured her as an aside. "That boy knows more about kung fu than I'm sure the panda knows. Besides, he's what, eight? I was twice his age before I mastered that move. Trust me, no one that young can master that technique in one day…"

Unfortunately, the snow leopard was proven wrong…very wrong…three times. The gosling apologized again and again after the third successful attempt at taking the snow leopard down, the snow cat waving him off and telling him—as gently as possible—to go sit down. Tigress helped her husband to stand, then struck her palm into the small of his back to help set his vertebrae right. Tai Lung cracked his back, making the little girls squirm, but the little boys grin and think of him as their new hero. Boys.

"You alright?" she asked.

He cracked his neck, "Probably, I'll let you know when this is over…"

"Mister Tai Lung?" a little boy leveret asked. The snow leopard managed to keep from rolling his eyes wearily. "Yes?"

"Could you show us some kung fu moves?"

"Yeah!" another agreed.

"Yeah! Please, please, please?!" the others chorused.

Tigress put her hand on her husband's shoulder, whispering, "I'll go easy on you."

"I'm not _that_ injured," he grumbled, nursing his wounded pride.

"Its not that; I don't want to scare the kids with too much violence."

"The boys don't mind…"

"Their parents will."

"Like the parents are going to say anything to me…they're still afraid of me."

Tigress shook her head, "You don't want to mess with angry parents. Remember, you can't use violence to solve problems anymore, and even _Po_ needs to count to ten or more when dealing with some of them."

Tai Lung thought about it, then relented. "Alright. Which technique?"

"Praying Mantis and Open Palm?"

"Praying Mantis, yes, Open Palm, no. Dragon Fist."

"Swallow's Tail."

"Eagle Wing."

"Done." Turning her attention back to the children, she clapped her hands once, "Alright! Master Tai Lung and I are going to use a demonstration. I will be using Praying Mantis Style, and he will use Eagle Wing style."

The children oohed and ahhed, scooting closer to get a better look. Tai Lung fought the urge to roll his eyes and got into position opposite his wife, sizing her up…and fighting to keep from thinking sexy thoughts. He was a newlywed, he couldn't help it, but he knew this was neither the time, nor the place.

"I won't go easy on you," she warned for their audience's benefit.

"Wouldn't have it any other way."

She attacked. He hadn't expected it so soon, barely raising his arm to block her strike. He responded with a sweeping arm motion to deflect her next strike, earning a resounding cheer from the students. He allowed himself a smile; it actually felt good to hear that. Tigress saw him smile, and smiled back; at least he was enjoying this. Unfortunately, she was about to use the same tactics Mantis had used on Po on the panda's first day of training. Tai Lung didn't see it coming, but he reacted quickly, catching himself just in time to return her advances.

Tigress was initially surprised to find how much of a workout she was getting just by sparring with Tai Lung. He kept her on her toes, more so than the Seven Swinging Clubs of Instant Oblivion. She expected their movements; he was unpredictable.

And okay, there was something slightly and yet inherently sexy about that.

…Did she just think that? _You're conducting a class with young children, and you can't stop thinking about that for five minutes? You've been spending too much time with him…_

She blocked a punch, dodging and back-flipping as he advanced. She swung her leg out into a kick that he caught. He yanked on her ankle, and she fell forward into his arms.

The children gasped, surprised to find their hero at the mercy of the one their parents had told them to fear. But Tigress didn't look afraid. Uncomfortable, yes, afraid, no.

Crap, now she was trapped! She hadn't expected that he would use the Fish-Catching Wing Swoop technique, and that now put her at the disadvantage. In a real battle, those claws could easily rend through her skin. In this case, it would just make this sparring match very uncomfortable…for the both of them. _Okay Tigress, you can do this. Think of a way out…aha! Surprise him!_

He was way ahead of her. Now, he sought to immobilize her by a tiny nerve strike that would, he smirked evilly, render her powerless to his advances…and once they were alone, well…you could see where this was going. As Tigress turned her head, their lips locked, surprising them both. However, the need to deepen that kiss was very tempting…

"EWW! They're kissing!"

The cats jumped away from each other, both of them spitting, "What was that?!" Tai Lung demanded.

"That was my deceptive liplock technique that _you are not allowed to use until you're older_," she said pointedly at the children.

"Who'd want to?" a little boy hissed. "Girls are gross."

"Nuh-uh!" a girl argued, "Boys are grosser!"

"Nuh-uh."

"Yuh-huh!"

Tai Lung glared at the offending children until they fell silent. "Right then, I think that'll do for the day…"

"Mister Tai Lung, we still have an hour left."

The felines shared a look. Both were very surprised that each really wanted that hour to end, uh, now. The look in his eyes made her tremble and the look in her eyes made him want to say "The hell with it" and cart her away to a private place for that last hour.

Unfortunately, the children were rather insistent. Resigned as criminals facing execution, the two felines just shook their heads and resumed the course.

"Can we learn more about Zhan Shi?" a piglet asked.

"No," Tigress said after a pleading look to her husband. "Let's get back to Wei Shan…"

* * *

Much later, the felines trudged away from the class, finding teaching to be a workout in and itself. Had Tai Lung known how draining kids could be, he would've thought twice about asking Tigress how soon they could have a family. Tigress, though she liked kids, was discovering that she did have limits. That class...how Po could stand teaching twenty rowdy children like that was beyond her comprehension.

Obviously, the newlyweds had made the mutually executive decision to wait to have children. They also made the executive decision to hide from Shifu, lest he find some other reason to keep them from enjoying the honeymoon period before it ran its course. And much to their delight—especially Tigress'—they were finding that period to be particularly enjoyable…

Tigress lay face down on their marital bed, locked away in their room, the striped feline squirming on top of the sheets. "Mmm…oh Tai…"

"Yes, love?"

"Oh, you're so good at this…" she purred.

"Thank you, kitten. How does this feel?"

"Ooh, really, _really_ good…just a little more…mm, a little harder…oh, that's it. Oh _yes_, that's it…"

Tai Lung chuckled, pressing himself against his wife's back and whispering in her ear, "I love making you feel good…especially when you make all those noises…"

"Oh, baby, keep doing what you're doing and you got a deal."

"Harder? Or slower?"

"Mm, deeper. Just a little deeper…"

He grinned, pressing her down, "As you wish."

Tigress closed her eyes in bliss as she felt his weight above her. It was tempting to stifle her moans into the pillow, but what fun would that be? She squirmed a little bit beneath him as his hands latched on to her shoulders, pushing and pulling, deepening these euphoric feelings buzzing in her head. She sighed deeply, purring contentedly. "Ooh, so good…"

"That's it, love, let me hear you, tell me what you want…" he whispered in her ear. The fur on her neck stood on end when she felt his hot breath next to her ear.

"A—ahh...ah, yes—a little lower, a little, ooh right there…"

"How about a little lower, hmm?"

"Ohh, do whatever you want, it all feels so good…" she purred.

Tai Lung grinned, slowly moving down, down, down to where she wanted it, his hand on the small of her back, holding her in place. He loved doing this to her, and she, of course, was not one to complain. They both knew he was the only one who could give her exactly what she wanted, and, exactly what she _needed_.

After one particularly loud purr from her throat, Tai Lung took his hands away, moving up to kiss her cheek, "And how did that feel?"

Tigress turned her head and kissed him, "Honey, that felt _really_ good."

"Did it relax you?"

"Oh yeah, you bet it did."

He smiled, hugging her from behind, "Good."

Tigress smiled, her body sagging beneath him, deep into the mattress. Closing her eyes and cuddling with him, she nuzzled his neck, "You're so good to me."

"I try," he winked.

She gave him a deep, soulful kiss, "That massage was exactly what I needed after that class."

"I bet. So, still want kids?"

The last syllable had barely passed his lips when she blurted out, "I can wait."

* * *

If you read that last part and were _not _thinking it was a massage, then you have a dirty, dirty mind. Either that, or I'm probably going to the special hell. But damn it, it'll be worth it.

Um, There's no such thing as Lucky Rabbit's Foot technique, obviously, and Eagle Wing style, as far as I know, doesn't exist. I needed to pull something that would sound good.

Anywho, please review!


	11. Layla

Last one of this series. Hope you all enjoy!

Disclaimer: is this really necessary anymore? I don't own it.

* * *

**Taigress Mix**

**Track ten: Layla (Unplugged)

* * *

**

It took all her resolve to keep from biting her lip all night. She didn't want her husband to suspect something was wrong—and it wasn't, technically—but she worried about how he would take the news.

Tigress tried not to look uncomfortable in the dress—it wasn't working too well. She hated dresses, had only ever owned one, and was amazed it still fit, given what the doctor had told her. But, she wanted to make an impression tonight…and hopefully a good one.

And so there he was, sitting across from her in the dimly lit restaurant, back in a little corner where no one would even notice them. They were both quietly glad for that, especially after Tai Lung had dragged a large houseplant in front of their table to further shield them from prying eyes. It wasn't that they were antisocial, they just didn't see the point to unnecessary PDA...or the stares from the villagers.

The snow leopard decided to ignore them for tonight. This night was far too important to him to let petty feelings get in the way. "You look beautiful," he said, implying it was a gross understatement. "Somehow, you look even more beautiful than usual…"

"You look good too," she smiled genuinely. And he did. Cleaned up, in clean clothes—and wearing an actual tailored shirt—he looked very nice. Quite nice. Much better than he had a month ago, after that horrible battle that almost prematurely ended their marriage.

Either it was the low light, the romantic meal they shared, or the band playing from across the room, but something about this evening told her that something was changing—had changed.

He took her hands in his, she didn't pull away.

"You're going to laugh."

"Try me."

"Would you consider…maybe…?" he looked hopeful, almost like a teenage boy asking to go steady than an adult male asking a life-changing question.

She knew what he meant, and she began chuckling, saying with a wink, "What do you think I've been 'considering' this whole time?"

"You're serious?"

"Yes, Tai Lung, I think we've established…"

"You didn't let me finish. There's something I've been meaning to ask you…"

"Alright," she smiled, rolling her eyes as she grasped his hand.

He took a deep breath, rubbing his thumbs over the backs of her hands, and sheepishly looked into her eyes. "D'you think…I mean, I can understand if you didn't, surely, it's probably too soon, after all, but…"

"Yes?" she asked, gently urging him to get to the point.

"Would you…maybe in a year, or so, if you want…"

"Yes…?"

"Would you like to have a baby?"

Without meaning to, she sputtered. It was a good thing she wasn't drinking or eating at that moment, or she might have choked. His reaction to _her_ reaction was a frown, "I didn't think you'd find that so undesirable…"

"Its not that, honey. You know I'd _love _to have your child...children. It's just…I know you and I weren't ready when we got married…"

"Three years ago today," he added. "I know."

She continued, "And I know you were worried that…you know…"

The snow leopard nodded in understanding. He was worried that he'd be a terrible father. The only father figure he had was Shifu, and the red panda's child-rearing style had…well, not worked out as well as either party had hoped. Tigress initially felt she wasn't yet mature enough to be a mother, but over the past couple months, the more she thought about it, and the more she saw how happy expectant mothers and new mothers looked with their offspring…the more motherhood appealed to her.

But her husband was still adverse to the idea. Aside from still being in the mindset of a twenty-year old—though he had matured considerably in the past three years—it was the fear of not being a good father that kept him from truly wanting a child of his own. But every family needed heirs, which was even more pressure than the snow leopard needed. Three years of marriage, and already talk around the village had escalated, and rumors flew around as to why the felines were not yet parents. More than one of those rumors hit his ego…and hard.

"Why the sudden change of heart?" she asked.

Tai Lung sighed and gripped her hands. "When I was in Kaifeng last month—remember, that hostage situation?—we passed through a village those bandits had overrun, and I saw all these children there, having their fathers ripped away from them…they were miserable. I don't know why but…something clicked. I…I don't feel comfortable telling you about the battle…"

She knew. That's all he needed to say. She had done things in battle she wasn't proud of either. The fact he suffered in silence bothered her to a high degree. At least he had Po and Shifu to talk to now, and it was their support, she was sure, that had saved her husband's life.

"It wasn't until after we defeated those bandits," he continued, "that I saw those families reunited, fathers coming back to their wives and children…and I wanted that. Granted, I'm thrilled by the welcoming _you_ gave me when I got home," he smiled.

She smirked triumphantly. Even a month ago, she had not been feeling well enough to go fight; Tai Lung had gone in her stead, and to thank him, she had planned that welcome since the day he left.

"But as much as the concept of fatherhood terrifies me—I mean, how quickly could I screw up a kid?—but those men we rescued, those hostages, they looked so…I can't explain it, they looked like walking corpses right after we freed them. But as soon as their children ran to them, it was like watching them come back to life. I've never seen anything like it. They all looked so happy…and I wanted that. I still want that. But I don't want it if _you're_ not ready for it. I'm just…well, it's an enthusiastic suggestion."

Tigress smiled, recalling that night in the training hall when he had healed her broken heart. He had said the same thing: _its not an order, more like a hearty suggestion._ She bit her lip again; he waited patiently for her to say something.

"Tai Lung, honey," she started to say. "Well…I've been thinking, that maybe…no, I _know_…I want a baby, too."

He smiled, gently squeezing her hand. "Alright, kitten…"

"Um, actually," she blushed. "I'm not your kitten anymore."

He furrowed his brows in confusion, "Tigress, love, in case you forgot, we're still married."

"I know," she smiled suggestively. "But I'm not your _kitten_ anymore."

He wasn't getting it. Time to be direct:

"You know how I've been feeling nauseous lately, and getting sick a lot, and we thought it was a stomach bug?" she asked.

"Yes…"

"And how I fainted during training last week?"

"Yes…"

"And how I've been a little moodier lately and had late-night cravings for foods that were out of season?"

"You _did_ keep your appointment with the doctor today, didn't you?" he asked worriedly. He'd finally begged her to see a doctor about her symptoms or—so help him—he'd drag her there, "kicking and screaming if need be". He could be extraordinarily protective of her, which sometimes annoyed her, despite knowing that he did it only because he loved her.

"Yes I did…and the doctor confirmed it today." She bit her lip again, nervously awaiting his reaction, but smiling hopefully, her eyes shining. "We're having a baby."

He didn't say anything, just stared at her. Finally he blinked and asked breathlessly, "Really?"

She nodded, "Really."

In that next moment, barely a heartbeat after she confirmed it, the other patrons of the restaurant nearly had a few heart attacks among them when Tai Lung jumped up, knocking over the potted plant, and whooped loudly, "YES! HAHA, _YES_!"

Tigress was finally grinning, "So…you're happy?"

"Happy? Am I _happy_?! You're _damn_ right I am, woman! I'm going to be a _father_! YES!" he shouted, catching her up in a tight, exuberant hug as the other patrons smiled and applauded the pair's good fortune.

"Not good for the baby, not good for the baby…" she warned when he tightened the hug.

He released her immediately, "Sorry."

"Way to go, Masters," a nearby patron said.

"Congratulations!" shouted another.

And quite suddenly, Tigress made good use of the nearby potted fern as a receptacle for that day's lunch. He winced and looked at his wife sympathetically as she coughed. He rubbed her back, "So, erm…Happy Anniversary, love?"

Tigress forced a smile despite the nausea, "Happy Anniversary, sweetie."

* * *

Months later, Po, Shifu, Crane, Monkey and Mantis watched the snow leopard pacing the hallway, muttering under his breath and wringing his hands (one of them heavily bandaged), eyes unfocused and wild. Po hadn't seen him so disheveled since right before he used the Wuxi finger hold on the poor guy. Granted, Tigress had been in labor for more than eight hours, and the likely reason why Tai Lung looked so pale were the nasty threats she threw at him in order to "get back at him".

Initially, this labor hadn't started out so bad. Tai Lung was the one who panicked when Tigress announced the baby was coming. She had tried to calm him, saying, "its okay, Tai, honey. Let's just call the midwife so we can enjoy this beautiful moment…"

An hour later, the same tiger was screaming, "THIS IS _NOT_ A BEAUTIFUL MOMENT!" followed by innumerable threats to her husband's more tangible masculine traits. To his credit, the snow leopard stayed by her side for the first few hours of labor, holding her hand through the contractions, which in hindsight wasn't a smart idea. One particularly nasty contraction made her crush his hand hard enough to crack some bones. This prompted Tai Lung to believe discretion was the better part of valor, and left the rest of the procedure to Viper and the midwife as he nursed his now-broken hand.

Fast forward about four hours to the current scene of the very nervous snow leopard pacing, making the other males dizzy. Shifu finally had to sigh and say, "That floor's already been replaced twice in the past five years—please don't wear it through."

"_You_ try having a wife going through labor!" the snow cat fired back. "See how long you last before you're a wreck like I am!" Shifu had to silently concur. Were it a different era, Tai Lung may very well have been a chain-smoking wreck as he paced the maternity ward, or downing shot after shot of whiskey to take the edge off. Perhaps raiding the pantry for that alcohol wasn't such a bad idea, now that the red panda thought about it…

"Hey, take it easy," Crane said. "Tigress is a tough girl; she'll get through this okay."

They all secretly kept their mouths shut; women dying in childbirth was a possibility, as was losing the child. Of course, they weren't going to tell _him_ that…despite the fact he probably already knew. Hence the pacing.

"She's been in there too long," he finally muttered.

"She's fine," Monkey said. "Remember the midwife saying that it can sometimes take hours? You'll be a baba before you know it."

"What am I _doing_?" he second-guessed. "I'm putting her in danger and for what, a selfish wish to have a child? What if I screw the kid up worse than I'm screwed up? What if there's a defect? What if it dies?! What if…"

Po got up and acutely slapped him. After the snow leopard calmed down, the panda looked sheepish, "Sorry, you were getting kinda hysterical there."

The snow leopard rubbed his smarting cheek. "No, I needed that. Thanks."

The door finally cracked open and Viper stuck her head out. She was smiling. "I'm looking for the new daddy," she beamed.

Tai Lung took a deep breath and ran his hands down his face. Gathering up his nerve, he walked to the room, "Alright, I'm ready. Is she…?"

Viper grinned, "Mother and babies are just fine."

"Oh thank—" He stopped, his jaw dropped, staring in bewilderment at the serpent. "Wait…bab_ies_? As in…_plural_?"

Viper just smiled and opened the door further, slithering out; the midwife came out and patted the new father's hand as she passed, "We'll give you some time with your new family."

Tai Lung rushed into the room, stopping just short of the bed where his wife lay…with two squirming bundles in her arms.

Twins.

Tigress looked like hell, and very tired, but so blissfully happy. When she looked up at him and smiled tiredly, he slowly walked the rest of the way, reverently silent as he approached and shakily sank down into a chair next to the bed.

"Tai, why are you so pale? Are you forgetting which one of us just had twins?" Tigress joked. He cracked a smile, gazing down at the little strangers. The one resting in the crook of Tigress' right arm fussed a little, screwing up its face and starting to cry.

"Is that…"

"Your son," she smiled. "And he's probably hungry. Your daughter came out first. Could you hold her while I feed him?"

"What? Oh, sure…" He wasn't disappointed to have a daughter, like other fathers might have been. To be frank, his reluctance was simple to explain: he had never held a baby before. They were so little, so fragile, what if he hurt them? But he took the baby girl into his arms anyway, the child barely as long as his forearm. She fussed a little until he held her a little closer, and she quieted down, grateful for the warmth.

Then she opened her eyes.

When father and daughter locked eyes for the first time…Tai Lung knew it was over. The little girl had her mother's eyes, and looked just like her, right down to the creamsicle-colored fur and faint chocolate stripes. His son, by comparison, looked just like him…probably had his eyes too, he guessed. But it was his daughter, whose little arm had forced its way out of the bunting and reached out to him, the girl making little noises translated as "hold me, love me". That wouldn't be a problem. Tai Lung's heart had been stolen by a new girl.

Tigress smiled as her daughter's tiny hand tried to wrap itself around her daddy's finger. Their son nursed away at her breast, breathing noisily through his nose, golden eyes drooping as his hunger was satiated. She caressed the downy silver grey spotted fur on top of his head; there was a new man in her life, but somehow, she didn't think her husband would mind.

"What will we name them?" her husband asked. "I know we talked about it…"

"Well, I thought we decided on a name for our son."

"I don't know…Courage, Strength…none of them seem to fit now."

"Well don't look at me, he's _your_ son. That was our deal—you name the son, I name the daughter."

He looked down at his daughter who, though she would not learn to smile for a few weeks, was showing her smile through her shining eyes. That smile…those eyes shining with the love she already had for her baba…he wouldn't trade it for an emperor's ransom, it was far too precious to him. _Precious…_ "Mind if we trade?"

Tigress laughed softly, pulling her son away from her breast to burp him. "What did you have in mind?"

His answer was immediate: "Jun." Beautiful Jade. The most precious gem in the empire, more valued than diamonds, treasured above gold; that was how he saw his little girl.

Tigress' smiled widened, touched by the unhindered love she saw her husband showing their daughter. The little girl in turn seemed to like that name very much, cuddling closer to her baba. Tai Lung caressed her cheek, earning him a soft cooing. "Your turn," he nodded.

Tigress thought about it, looking down at her son who gazed back up at her with wide, curious golden eyes, taking in his mother's face and this strange new world he'd been born into. In those eyes, so much like her husband's, she saw the spark of adventure, and the need to explore. This one was so much like his father, it was uncanny. Though he was barely ten minutes old, Tigress could already foretell the warrior that baby would be.

"Zhan Shi," she said.

"Zhan Shi," he nodded, wholeheartedly agreeing after he got a closer look; it may have been a self-fulfilling prophecy, but if Tai Lung could survive twenty years of Shifu's tutelage, and twenty years in Chorh-Gom, he could handle twenty years raising a kid named "Fighter"…right? Right?

Before long, a crowd had formed outside the door, eager for a glimpse of the new lives in the Jade Palace. Tigress smiled at her husband. "I think the kids need to meet the rest of the family, don't you?"

He nodded and called Shifu over, the red panda slowly and quietly walking into the room. Tigress beamed, "Baba, we'd like you to meet your grandchildren…"

* * *

Not bad for a conclusion, right? Hope you enjoyed.


End file.
